The Lovely Life...

Life has been crazy busy, but we are loving every minute of it.

Just a little this and that for my loving blogger followers..

I was denied approval to post a picture of this incident. But my sweet Cameron was with some friends, and playing hide and go seek in the dark. He said he was an assassin ninja because no one could see him. And when someone spotted him, he jumped up and went full blast ninja style into a big ole tree. I got that phone call at 3am, that said Cameron is ok, but he is going to need stitches. So I meet them at the ER and watch my Cam limp into the hospital and have a towel to his face, and his handsome face was jacked up. They cleaned it up, gave him shots to numb it and 4 stitches later he was all good. He is my tough little fella, not one single tear or flinch. Now about that bubble wrap and helmet..

My hard drive at work crashed on me, so after crying and whining for a couple of days. I have spent the last 2 weeks re entering 2012 invoices. I am up to the letter D! Whoohoo. I lost all my pictures, all my pre made documents. And no one felt sorry for me. Yeah tough crowd when you work with nothing but men.

I may have mentioned this little fella a couple of times.. Hee Hee But my sweet baby G celebrated his 1st birthday over the wkend. This little boy melts my heart. I am helping my little brother and sis out by keeping him overnight to help wean him off his mommy. He did so good. And Jazzy and I loved having him to spoil and just love like crazy.. I am thankful my sis trust me with her sweet baby boy.

Last year around this time is when my family was going thru a really tough time with my Grandpa. And if you followed my blog, it was all so bitter sweet when he passed away at the same time my sweet baby G was born. Well, guess what.. He did it again.. We have a new edition to our family. My cousin Brenda gave birth to a baby boy, and she named him Elijah Ovidio. He is named after his grandpa and great grandpa. Two wonderful men, and I am sure he is going to live up to his name for sure. I know my Grandpa must be proud. Congratulations Brenda, we are so proud of you! I know you will be an amazing mommy..

My Boys Sophmore Class is putting together a Live Nativity Scene. If you are in our area please stop by and help support them. I personally have never seen one, but I am super excited as this is coming together so wonderfully. We have a great group of dedicated parents and students who step up and help. My fellas are going to be one of the Wise Men and Joseph, and Jazz is going to be an Angel. Awe…

We want to wish each of you a very Merry Christmas! I pray that you are surrounded by people who you love and who love you back. I know sometimes Life can knock you flat on your face. And some days you wonder if there is ever any reason to keep on trying. I know this year has been one of the hardest years of my life. I got a wake up call, and the only reason I have made it this far is because I finally quit living life selfishly my way, and gave it all to God. We live, we make mistakes, but we learn and we move on, we Forgive ourselves!! That is a huge part And we choose to Love like Crazy.. And just thank God for the memories, and for 2nd chances.

When you hit rock bottom there is only one way to go and that is UP..

P.S. I wrote this blog on Friday morning, but could not post till tonight. I just want to say the horrible incident that happened yesterday has really rocked my world. My heart aches for those precious children and most of all those parents who lost their babies. Just agree in prayer that God surrounds them with his precious Love and Comfort and Peace.. A parent should never have to experience such tragedy..

Sowing and Reaping...

Just Sitting back,.Being very quiet,..
Watching Everyone and Everything around me has really given me a new insight on life.


Have to shamefully admit I have always been a fan of Karma, but I have to swallow my pride and admit that I am being given a big ole dose of Karma..

For years, I have been part of choosing sides and thinking I was better off if I just left certain people out of my life. Probably during times they were not doing things or living their life to what I thought was best. Have had blown up arguments over politics, religion, and what I thought someone really meant to say or do.
Walking around pointing my fingers and judging people, and making them feel like they were probably alone.

I am sure I have made God oh so proud… (sigh)

Oh my the tables have turned, and now it is my turn to be judged, and let me tell you it totally stinks and is heartbreaking.. But with time I have gotten over myself and quit throwing a woe is me party. And have spent the last couple of weeks feeling remorse for being such a big ole bitty to certain people in my life.

The crazy thing is there have been a handful of people who have stepped up and been there for me the last couple of months.. These people have every right to dislike me, because when the tables were turned, I was a horrible person to them, and I shut them out of my life. And I have told them, that I surely don’t deserve their friendship. But they have all said the same thing to me, yeah I did hurt them, but they know my true heart, and they remember what a devoted friend I was to them over all.

How about that.. People who concentrate and remember all the good, and who don’t focus on the bad.
If they only knew how much my heart needed to hear that.. Sowing and Reaping.. Karma..

This adventure and realitly of life has really given me the desire to be the light for people.
I want to shine for those who are going thru a dark time in their life.

For the people who are beat down, and have no hope, I want to be that email, or text or phone call that says, yeah your situation stinks big time, but you got this.

God is good, and he believes in restoring relationships, and lives.

His grace and mercy has saved me.. And I am thankful for the trials and judgment in life to make me realize that I had and have issues, but I am still precious and loved.

Most of all, that I deserve to be happy and to be surrounded by people who love me too..

So, LOVE!!! It should be simple.

Yet, we complicate everything. For example: we are not commanded to judge other people, gossip about them, tell everyone else what so-and-so ought to do about the problems we see in them, decide whether or not they are worthy for "certain" blessings or condemn them to a life of suffering and sorrow.

I'm so glad I don't have to make any final judgments about anyone. I just get to love them like crazy, for who they are now..

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
― Lao Tzu

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
― Oprah Winfrey

P.S.
Happy 16th Anniversary to my Amazing and Loving Husband.. The man that has reminded me what Real, Faithful, Love really is..And how blessed I am that God sent him my way..


16th Anniversary in Oklahoma City



Guest Blogger..

Guest Blogger.. My Jazzy girl wrote this in Writing Class, and I figured how perfect to share for the month of November..


Ten Things I am Thankful For… By Jasmine

1. I am thankful for my parents. They are always there for me. They love me very much. Also, when I am sad they cheer me up. Last, but not least they gave me life..

 2. I am thankful for my cousins.

 When I am sad they know how to cheer me up! Also, they make funny noises when I get a boyfriend or I tell them who I like. My baby cousin is the cutest. I was there for his birth and he smiles when I hold him.

3. I am thankful for my teachers.
That is the most awkward thing to say. The reason why I said that is because they take time out of their day to teach us. Even when we can be not so respectful some days.!

4. I am thankful for brothers!
That is also hard to say. They can be over protective of me at some point. But, I still love them. They are always there for me. Plus they take up for me. Last but not least they make me smile.

5. I am thankful for my sister.
 That girl is one the best things in my life. She makes me smile and she loves me. Also, she is protective over me. Even though sometimes she is annoying, I could not live without her.

6. I am thankful for my granny.
My Granny is awesome. I love going shopping with her. I get to go to her house almost every other weekend. She has done a lot for me in my life. She is always there for me. I love her so much.
7. I am thankful for my grandpa.
He is the best grandpa ever. When I stay with them, he takes me to the flea market. It is awesome. Before we start looking at stuff we go get food. I get nachos with jalapeño’s and he gets fruit. We share them with each other. Also, we love to play with his dog.

8. I am thankful for my Great Grandma.
She is awesome and she has gone thru a lot. She lost her husband (my great grandpa) last year in December. Ever since then we have been able to get really close. Some days we go to eat together. I go to the doctor with her so she doesn’t go alone. She has taught me how to cook tortillas. And even though she lives with my granny now, I get to spend the night with her.

9. I am thankful for my Nanaw.
She is my dad’s mom and she is awesome. She lets me hang out with her some times.  I go with her to get her hair done. Plus, she also lost her husband. I was only 2 when he died. She always talks about him and I just listen. So my daddy and brothers and I get to help take care of her land. We mow and fix things when it breaks.

10. I am thankful for my life. I love my life. I have the best life. I have people who care for me and love me. I have a roof over my head. I have people to  love.. I have friends and
Last but certainly not least I have God in my life.



Just a Random Kind of Post...

I Apologize for such a Random Thought type of blog entry today..


First, I wanted to let everyone know that the Fellas did not make it to State Meet in Cross Country. They competed at Regional’s with 180 other fellas and against 24 other teams. And Aaron got 52nd place and the team got 8th place out of 24. I am still super proud of how well they finished and looking forward to next year to see how well they do.


Cross Country Team at Regional's

Second, I have to admit that the last 3 months I have been being a big ole pouting brat. I have been praying for God to help me in a certain area concerning some relationships. And over the last 3 months a few sweet ladies have reached out to me, invited me to lunch or dinner or to just talk or just a huge hug. And because it was not the ones I wanted them to be, I turned them down. (Not a proud moment of course) The other day I was listening to someone talk about the things they were struggling with, and I found myself relating to what she was feeling. Because it was not long ago that my family was enduring the same kind of thing. And I found myself enjoying her company, just talking, and listening and laughing. After I dropped her off I had a convo with God. I finally got a visual of what he was doing in my life, while I was too busy building that wall up around me, and questioning so many things, HE always knows what I need, and he always sends the right people my way. It is time for me to be confident in the person I am. To appreciate what and who I have NOW, and let go of all the rest.. Most of ALL, to know that God loves me and watches out for me, even when I take the bad roads in life from my horrible decisions.. He did not give up on me, he just waited for me to come to my senses and come running back to him. He embraced me in his wide open arms. I am ever so grateful for that..And thank you to those ladies who did reach out to me and minister love to me. It did not go un-noticed. 

Third, a certain fella taught me something over the last few months. About Faith.. He has a hat rack, and at the beginning of cross country season he removed all his hats from the rack, and he said that he was making room for all the medals he was going to win this year. At the end of the season his rack was full of medals. He stood strong on his Faith, and it paid off for him. I want to stand strong on my Faith and see many things come to pass in my life..I think we forget how amazing and loving the God we serve is,. Nothing is impossible for him, We just need to get out of the way, and let him do his thing..

Time to BRAG...

I really feel the need to share and to brag about my kiddos..

I may have mentioned before how my twin fellas have been doing cross country since their 7th grade year. 

7th Grade year





10th grade year

 I have to admit I disliked this “sport” because it was boring and it consisted of lots of early morning rides to school for practice. But, Trav and I sucked it up and as long as they were willing to give it their all, we supported them. Who would of thought that by their sophomore year in high school they would be doing so well and actually getting medals at these cross country meets.!?

Heck who would of thought that Trav and I would be THOSE crazy parents that are hard core on the side lines and mile markers screaming and yelling and cheering them on with our stop watches.. We love it! And we are so proud to say that our twins fellas made regional’s! This year they went to district and the top 10 runners qualify to go to Regionals. So Aaron and another team mate made top ten.


Aaron got 9th place with a 19.10 3 mile run

  But, because we actually have a good group of dedicated guys that make a team, they got 3rd place and get to go as a team also to the Regional Meet this Saturday in Arlington. Now, I am not going to be negative and say I am sure the road ends here for them. Because they will be competing with the best from here on out. But I will say either way, I am so super proud of these fellas for making it this far.. It is nothing but pure heart and dedication that each of them have, that has brought them to this point! Good Luck Guys! And Congratulations!!

One more picture just to say a big thank you to My Sis in law and her family for stopping by to show their support and let the boys know they are so proud of them..



Teresa & Russel and our nephew Brandon

Also a big shout out to my sugar bear.. Who after a rough tourney last summer.. Had lost her joy for pitching.. But this Fall ball season she had to pitch for her team as the regular pitcher was out sick. And my jazzy girl did an amazing job. She did not let her team down, and by the end of the season she found her Joy again. 

My Sugar bear when she was little..




Our little Grunt is a not so little anymore

And I have to brag and say that a parent from one of the teams we played wanted let me know that they love it when they play against Jasmine, because of her good attitude and because she is just so darn cute.. =0) Also a big shout out to Coach Ben, we look forward to playing with them every other year. Great coach who the girls respond to, and he knows how to build them up and make them feel they can take on the world.. His wife is pretty amazing too..
Now on to Basketball Season!!!

So It Continues....

So, I am behind on my blogging and my reading. I have to tell on myself and admit I have not been to the last Bible Studies, but I have not quit.. I am still reading and going strong!
I will see you there Chella, I promise!

The next couple of chapters cover a variety of topics.. After we discovered what the Root of our insecurities have been. We move on to the next topics..

Like our EGO and PRIDE..

The following things are what Beth Moore shared on these Topics..

She talks about how we set ourselves up for failure. We need to learn what we can handle and what we can’t. There is a volume of wisdom in knowing the difference.


She also says that sometimes people and situations make us feel insecure because they nick our pride, plain and simple. Just because pride fills a heart doesn’t keep it from breaking. It just keeps it from healing. AND Some need to come to the conclusion that we have no greater burden in all of life than our own inflated egos. No outside force has the power to betray and mislead us the way our own egos do. That Pride talks us out of forgiving and steers us away from risking. Pride cheats us of intimacy, because intimacy requires transparency. Pride is a slave driver like no other, and if it can’t drive us to destruction, it will drive us to distraction.

Than she talks about how insecurities can makes us act like total fools..

Not only can insecurity talk us into disastrous relationships, it can talk us out of great ones. And it can make us panic and act like freaks..

Heard another good message the other day.. One of the things that was said and stuck out to me is “We” put so much time, thought and work into how to treat our enemies.
Like avoiding them when we know they are going to be at the same place. So we don’t talk to them and we do Not making eye contact, and than (I) WE stay up all night upset because of it all. When how much easier would it be if we were just kind to them and just decided to love them anyways..? Swallowing your pride, and just know they are human and make mistakes, but God created them too, and loves them just like he loves us. You don’t have to be BFF, but you don’t have to act like a donkey either..
We talk about how horrible it is for young kids and teens to deal with being bullied, yet, we see grown adults do it, and we don’t say a thing about it. Seriously!

I grew up seeing pride tear relationships up.
Just because one person that we loved was mad at someone, than we all had to be mad at that person. I was taught that if a person did not come up and talk to me, than that person was rude. But yet I am not rude for not going up and talking to that person? Oh it gets better, how about the person who is skinny and confident,? I was taught that person was just a hooch or that they think their poop does not stink.. I grew up seeing that when someone hurt your feelings, you picked up the phone for a “woe is me party” and talked about that person to someone else. And you never even tell the person what they did and give them the chance to make it better or at least let them know you are mad at them.

And how about the times when we over react because we think we are being ignored by our spouse? Have you ever sent ugly texts, and nasty voicemails and blew some one’s phone up because you thought you were being ignored on purpose.? Only to find out they left their phone in the car or were in a meeting. And how about when you think your significant other was checking another lovely lady out. Oh my I have seen and done some doozies when it came to stuff like that....
I am ashamed to admit that I behaved that way, and that I thought it was ok. I was judgmental, and rude and ugly to people for no reason but my own ego and pride.

 I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted.. I know I cannot change over night, and it won’t be easy.. But, if we would just give it all to God.. If we would repent, and ask God to change our heart and show you where you need to change. Life could be so much more enjoyable..

We need to let God shovel us out of Insecurity, because without Him, we’re stuck..

The ROOT of it all...

Rooting It Out is the name of this chapter..
It covered so much information, and it took me a couple of times of reading and re-reading it so that I could let it sink in..
It talks about the root to our insecurity. The things that we have experienced in our up bringing and daily lives that makes us feel the way we do..
Points she shared..
Life is rough. It’s also beautiful but if we can’t get some respite from its cruelty, we will never have the healthy vision to savor its tender beauty.
Than she shares a scripture in Proverbs..
“Each heart knows its own bitterness” The more intense the pain the more it feels like nobody fully understands. Try as I might I can’t fully comprehend how a particular event affected your life, even if we both shared the same experience. Your personality and history shapes your response, just as my own unique background affects mine. We’d go only so far in one another’s shoes before laces came loose.
During particularly lonely or frustrating times, perhaps you, like me, have felt that nobody else gets it. But HE gets it better than we do..
She list the different things that we could of experienced like:
Instability in the home...

Significant Loss...

Rejection...

Dramatic Change...

Personal Disposition...
I dont know about you, but I for one can say yes to about half of those.
Here is a journey into my little mind and life..
My real dad was an alcoholic, and so he and my mom divorced when I was about 3 years old. He slowly stopped being a part of my life, and when I was finally old enough to use the phone and write him. I was always the one to chase after him, and just hope that he would take the time to talk to me on the phone and or respond to my letters. At such a young age I just wanted to be convinced that he still cared and loved me. I grew up doing this, even though he really did not show interest in being a part of my life. I really believed for years, that I was just not good enough for him to love me like he should of loved me. Now, as an adult and a mother, and many great sermons that I have heard, and a mighty God we serve, I have forgiven him for this, I now have a some what good relationship with my real dad, and don’t hold a grudge against him anymore.

But, I have learned that because of how he made me feel, that in my other relationships, I am the one feeling the need to chase after them, and constantly looking for any attention they will throw my way.. And why I take it so personal when I think or know when someone is ignoring me or upset with me. I know it sounds horrible but, basically I want all the attention, when realistically it cannot be just about me. Darn that sharing!!

Beth Moore says that all the things she listed are in many ways, scars on the soul left by hardships,. Insecurity that results from the way we’ve coped rather than healed.

The good news is readers, is God knows! Beth shares this last thing..

He does not take lightly that some of us were raised in a veritable madhouse. He does not take lightly that some of us have been mentally berated or physically beaten or sexually abused or simply abandoned.

God will wipe away every tear from the eyes of those who trust Him, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things will pass away and all our hardships will be finished..

Again, “Now that is Refreshing”…
So be kind people, you really have no idea what a person has or is going thru in life..

My Favorite Topic..

Hi Readers, I am still in my Bible Study, but not quite ready to share what I have read and thought of lately. Still meditating and digesting it all..

So I figured, I would bring it down a notch and blog about one of my most favorite things.. My CHILDREN!

Jazzy at Homecoming Game

My sweet baby girl is not a baby anymore.. Busy little girl.. She is in full Fall Ball mode. She gets to pitch some, and last night’s game was cold but she pitched so good. We really enjoy playing ball with these girls, coaches and parents. We are all very passionate about softball.. lol She is also doing gymnastics so she can perfect her back flips for cheerleading tryouts at the end of this year,. She is loving school this year, and is making straight A’s. and LAST but not least She also is going to youth group now, and tried out for the Youth’s Group Worship team “Breakthru”.. And guess what, she made the team.. She was beaming with excitement. SO proud of my mini me..
Our Jazzy girl is a big ball of emotions, but her smile is still there, and her little feisty fun size spirit goes a long ways. 

Ciera with two of our many precious babies

Now for our Ciera, I don’t get to blog about her much, because we don’t get to see her very often. But I am so happy that she has started helping in our church nursery again. She used to be the head teacher in our toddler class, but she got burnt out. So we are slowly getting her back, and this Saturday we had life kids. And she was my helper. She prefers the toddler age ones, but I could not resist this photo moment. Yes momma here with a camera in my hand 24/7 But notice that all my children smile on command when they see me with a camera..lol Love this grown up kid of mine, her and her passionate, spunky, attitude and all.. I would not change one single thing about her.

Cameron Decatur Cross Country Meet



Aaron Decatur Cross Country Meet

Now for my twin fellas. If you follow me on fb than you know what they are doing right now.. They have been in full blown cross country mode since before school started. Now if you have ever did any kind of running, than you know it takes dedication each and every day. They run any where from 3 to 5 miles a day. And have meets on Saturdays. I am so very proud of these guys and how well they are doing. They are placing at some meets, and bringing home medals. And at the last meet, even if they did not place in the top 10, they are beating their times, and are working so hard for the district meet. Also since their freshmen year they were asked to record all Varsity football games. So this is their 2nd year to do this, and they love it. Although Trav and I love football, and were bummed when they decided they did not want to play anymore. We are happy they are part of the team in some way. And of course they also attend the youth group at church, and they got baptized last month. All of my family was there to see this proud moment in their lives.
As you can tell I am a proud momma, and we stay super busy. But we love every minute of it.

Thank yall for taking the time to read my blog. You all make me very proud when I see how many views I get on here. I promise to blog soon about the last 6 chapters that I have read in my Bible Study.
Till Next Time!

Just Afraid?

Have you had those days, weeks, months, where you were recovering from some severe blows in life.. And starting to heal, than out of no where, you feel like someone literally punched you in the gut? Just takes your breath away.
Well this next chapter did that to me. It is called “Good Company”..

In this chapter Beth Moore talks about bible stories, tells about people in the bible who were pretty insecure and made mistakes, bad choices, and yet God still used them for his Kingdom.

First of all, I loved getting a bible lesson and realizing that they (The Bible People) were not perfect people, that they were human just like you and me.

This book has been so good for me, but it is stirring up things that I really wanted to leave alone. It is making me see “ME” for the person I was and had become. I have been so eaten up with insecurity, that it was controlling my life.
Here are some quotes from the book that I highlighted..

“Our bodies, souls, and spirits are far too intricately woven. Eventually hearts follow bodies, and bodies follow hearts”

“Studies have long since proven that much of what we fear is fueled by our imaginations, and in fact, most of what we fear never even happens”
“Jealousy is always the result of a perceived threat. And a threat always places a 911 call to insecurity”

“Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them.
“The need to be considered the greatest is always rooted in the gnawing fear that we’re not.

She goes on to say “More often than not, if we are willing to make the connection, we can trace feelings of insecurity to a perceived threat, especially when it comes in a sudden rush.. She tells us to ask ourselves these questions..

What are we afraid of?
Who are we afraid of?
What are we afraid of losing ?
Why are we afraid of being displaced?
If I am being honest, I can answer each of those questions with the same answer..
My biggest fear is “Being Alone”..

What am I afraid of? Being Alone
Who am I afraid of? The ones I love leaving me, to be alone..
What am I afraid of losing? The ones who love me, and leaving me alone..
Why am I afraid of being displaced? Because in my warped mind, I have myself convinced that I don’t deserve to be loved, so someone better will come along, shove me out of the way, and guess what, I am alone..

But yet, the Bible tells us over and over how God will never leave us, how he is with us at all time. If we can be secure in HIM, than he will take care of all of our desires and get rid of all our fears. It sounds so easy, and I desire to be secure in him with all my heart. But I first have to pray that he shows me how to get rid of all the junk, all the unforgiveness, I have packed and carried with me all my life.
I encourage each of yall to ask your self those questions, and than pray and ask God to show how to get over those insecurities.

Week 3 Insecurity...

Ugh, I so wish I could say I enjoyed this next chapter. But I have to be transparent and say, it stepped all over my toes.
This chapter was called “She Does Not Look a Certain Way”

You see, one thing as a mother, when my children have come home and were beat down or discouraged, and decided they literally disliked a classmate. I would sit them down, and say, ok, you realize when you don’t like someone; it is because somewhere deep down you are jealous of what they have that you don’t. And about 80% of the time I was right, they either had more money, nicer clothes, shoes, more friends etc..
And it showed my children that they were wrong in their thinking and had to make a decision to like everyone,,
You see I am great at giving advice, it is just taking it in for myself where I struggle. Lol

This chapter reminded me of that. I never wanted to admit I was the jealous type. Although my husband and the close friends I have had in and out of my life know the truth about me..
Of course some of the things that Beth Moore shared in this chapter, reminded me a lot of what I have been told..
Example:
“ What on earth do you have to be insecure about? You have everything! Nope, Actually nobody has everything. Beware of Appearances.”
OR
“A lot of people like you, and you have a lot of good friends”
OR
“ Wow you have been married for a long time, you must have this marriage thing down easy”

You see we all have different definitions on what certain things are in our life. We come to expect our family and friends to treat us a certain way. We think we deserved to be treated and wanted a certain way, but it is so unfair to those people in our life,..

“ No person on earth can love you perfectly enough to mend a tear in the crimson fabric of your soul. “

We all (ME) spend so much time judging and thinking a certain someone has everything and is so secure, and if I only had this or that, I too would be so happy and secure.. Not knowing we have no clue what other people struggle with..

“ Be careful who you covet. Be careful how you judge. Be slow to size somebody up and think you know all about her type. She’s not so different from you. Nobody’s unbreakable here on this planet. Only the dead don’t bleed when they’re cut. We all fear that we are not who were pretending to be.”

I have had to do a lot of talking to and praying to God and myself, to help me to quit being so judgmental towards people that I have no clue what they are going thru.

I encourage all of my blog followers to seek God in that area too.

“You and I are going to have to come to a place where we stop handing people the kind of power only God should wield over us. Change will not come easy, Old habits die hard. But we can make the radical decision to rewire our security systems”

Week 2 of Insecurity...

Yes, I know yall have been eagerly waiting to hear more about this book..
Of course I don’t want to let you down..
The 2nd chapter was tough one to read..
But it is kind of amusing when I am reading this, and am saying “Yes!” “Exactly!” “Finally someone who understands!”  
Than I realize what a huge nut I am..lol

Reading this book like I said has opened my eyes in many areas. I never doubted I was insecure, but I always pretended I was not as messed up as I am. Let me share some of the things that stood out to me..
First of all the chapter is called “Insecure Enough to Matter”

Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self doubt, a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. We live in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate?

Of course I translated that to Basic English terms that say “We worry, do “We” really matter..

She also says “The insecure person also harbors unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. This person creates a situation in which being disappointed and hurt in relationships is almost inevitable.

I had a convo with my husband. We talked about feeling secure in different areas. One thing I admire about him is if he finds out someone is upset with him, whether it be family, friends, co workers. He has the attitude, of “Oh Well, they will get over it”
Ohhh how I desire that attitude.. Me on the other hand, when I even think someone is upset with me, I literally freak out, and play things in my head, and wonder how I could of said something better, and how can I approach them to make it all better. I let it eat away at me.
Or how about when we expect too much from one person? And they get tired of trying to convince me they are fine and not mad or upset with me, that the relationship comes to an end..
It is heart breaking for me..

Than of course the big thing that hit me between the eyes is something she also said..

“She realized that she not only lacks security, but that she lacked Faith..” Big Ouchy!!

Now, I don’t know about any one you blog followers, but I am just plain exhausted..
If only I could see myself the way God see’s me, and the way God created me to be, and keep my head up knowing without a doubt, that I do have a real purpose on this stinking earth..
No matter the mistakes WE all have made.. God still loves ME! He still loves YOU!

His Love should make everyone of us feel secure..
NOW That is something we should get excited about..

New Bible Study, Take 3.. ACTION!

If you have followed me on FB lately, you will see that that I have been making comments and posts about a new Bible Series I actually am attempting to follow.


I have had a few friends message me and ask what book it is. So I figure why not use my Blog to let people know..

It’s a Bible Book Series by Beth Moore Called “So Long Insecurity”..

Now, let me be the first to confess, my insecurities that I have are not healthy.. I am talking someone needs to put me in “Hug myself jacket” type of not healthy..

And I will admit that I started this class with the insecurity that I was insecure that I needed to attend..=0)

Now blog followers, let me tell you.. If I had not invited people to join me, and actually pick them up to take them, I would have backed out. You see, this is the 3rd Bible Study I am attempting. I started two others before this, and I quit them.. And I beat myself up for quitting. Yeah, schedules with the kids sporting events always conflicts, but I admit I quit..

But this time, it peaked my interest. And I have only read the first 3 chapters of the book and study guide, and I already know that I am more insecure than I thought I was to begin with. AND I know it is why I have struggled in all my relationships, from marriage, to family to my best friends.

BUT!! I am learning that Insecurity is curable!!


The following are from this book, that screamed out at me!! And I want to share..

“I want some soul-deep security drawn from a source that never runs dry and never disparages us from requiring it. We need a place we can go, when as much as we loathe it, we are needy and hysterical. I don’t know about you, but I need someone who will love me when I hate myself. And yes, someone who will love me again and again until I kiss the terrestrial sod good-bye..”

“Life is too hard and the worlds too mean for many of us to grasp a lofty sense of acceptance, approval, and affirmation early on and keep hold of it the rest of our lives..Come what may…Circumstances abruptly change, and setbacks happen. Relationships unexpectedly end. Or, just as cataclysmically, begin. School change, Friends change. Jobs change. Offenses happen. Betrayals happen, Tragedies happen. Engagements end. Marriages begin. Kids come. Kids go. Health wanes. Seasons change.”

As if the battle isn’t hard enough, we sabotage ourselves,..

There you go! I am diving in and hoping to make it thru this one..
So get ready blog followers, this is going to be an interesting roller coaster ride..

Guest Blogger.. " The Gang in Life"

Someone very dear & close to me has started writing. I read this, and asked this person to be a guest blogger on my blog. This person agreed, but wants to remain anonymous. This is a little deep, personal, and long, but I think a very good read. Enjoy!

The Gang in Life

Been thinking about writing for my own personal therapy. I know this will sound like rambling and I will probably jump around. But let’s talk about the things we endure in life.
Some of these bad, and some not so bad.

The first is “Insecurity” It is the first of the gang you have to watch. He’s is not the leader, but the lackey of them all. He sneaks in and causes us to think things that 9 out of 10 times are not true. He’s small but gets the ball rolling down hill. It starts slow but gains speed quickly. He will get you thinking things like “He does not love me” “He does not think I am pretty” “He does not want me”. He starts getting you down and ruins your self esteem. He tears down your walls and makes you vulnerable. He sets you for his partner.
His name “Manipulation”..

Manipulation see’s an opening and jumps right in. It knows your down and has to move quickly. It steps in and makes you think he is everything you need. He leads you into places you would never go before. He will talk to you about what troubles you and act like he cares. All the while having ulterior motives. He will make you think he is what you need. Pretends to care for what hurts you. He will make you forget about those who are important. He will falsely make you feel good. He will make you think he is ok and your deserve him, even if it is wrong.
He leads you to his friend “Deception”..

Deception is one bad fella! He is one of the top guys in the Gang. He leads you to do the things manipulation has put in your mind. He teaches you to be deceitful. He shows you how to go behind the ones who care the most, to make you feel better. He makes you think what you are about to do is ok, and you deserve it. He makes you forget about the ones who Love You! He makes you not care who you hurt. He prepares you for the next member.
His name is “Betrayal”!

Betrayal is the biggest Bad A of the Gang! He takes you on the final journey. He helps you cross that line you have preached about to others. He convinces you to throw away everything that has ever mattered. Spouse, Family, Friends, Children. None of them matter at this point. It becomes all about you. It does not matter who you are hurting, or who loves you. He tells you all the right things, uses you as long as you let him. And does not care. He put you in a position that believe me will not turn out well for you in the end.
Now some think that Deception and Betrayal are the same. They are close but completely different. You see Deception is brutal; it beats you and slices you a little. It leaves scars you will never forget. Betrayal though is a double edge sword. It cuts going in and it cuts coming out. It than rips out everything that was good and that you cared about. It leaves a hole in you that is empty and dark. It leaves you emotionless. Takes away your ability to smile and function normally. The hole it makes is huge and does not scab over and heal. It takes away happiness and causes gaps between you and the ones who matter. He is the leader of the gang and one tough song of a gun. Few have tangled with him and won nothing back. Beware of the gang. You run with them, and you will not like what you have become!

After some time, when you least expect it. You find that there is more to the story. Even more characters to the Gang. After the Gang has attached, all seems lost. But, there is a Hero. He is tough, emotional, hard and caring. And yes if used correctly, way tougher than any of the Son of a Guns I have mentioned. His name is “Love”..

If you let him, he can heal your wounds. He can overcome what has beaten you down. He can be your shield. He can rebuild what you were. He can restore your ripped out heart and make it anew. If this seems impossible, it is not. You see, Love is a super hero. It is obvious. GOD is LOVE.. This is what makes love Unbeatable. God is almighty and he loves you. If you turn to him, all can be repaired. Now love has an accomplice.

It’s FORGIVENESS. He is hard to accept, but very necessary. Forgiveness does not come easy; we believe it must be earned. But Love (God) says it should come easy. Just ask and you shall receive says God. Trust in him and turn to him and all things shall be taken care of. You have to quit fighting yourself and what hurt you. Give it all a chance and trust. LOVE (God) can fix it and forgiveness will be there. You just have to get to know him..

Just a Quickie...

We have been super busy with Life.. So no long deep blog to share right now..
But just random quickies to share..

We are now the official parents of two sophmore twin fellas and our baby girl is a 6th grader in middle school...

Our Ciera Nichole celebrated her 23rd birthday!

My Nephew that I asked you all to pray for, came back from South Carolina Boot Camp..
Thank you for your prayers!

Our Pastor was part of the Youth Auction, and of course The Hammett’s won the rights to have him wear our favorite team jersey during his Sunday Sermon. Go Romo!

And just a little extra of one of my favorite little cuties in the entire world Baby G..

Wishing everyone a great School year, Remember to take every chance to be Jesus with skin on.
No one is perfect, so love them anyways!

What Really Matters...

Learning is part of life.
In the last two weeks, I have been going thru a brutal roller coaster ride..
But, once I spent many hours and days flat on my face praying and just begging for answers.. Being very quiet, staying off my phone, facebook, texting, emailing..
Turning off the outside world.
I realized I lost my focus..
We all seem to get so caught up in the things that really don’t matter.
Whether it is because you got discouraged, or you just gave up.. Or if you are nursing your hurts. But, when you sit back and re-focus on what really matters. On the ONE who is your everything, than the rest of the important stuff falls into place.
God knows all the details, he knows how you felt and how you feel in all those difficult times. And because he loves you, because he has mercy and grace, he can restore those relationships that meant and mean the world to you.
Just keep him first in everything you do.
I was reminded that this crazy little family is oh so very precious to me..
They are what really matters..

What Love Is This?..

One of my most favorite songs is by Kari Jobe, “What Love Is This”.
In the song she sings “I'm standing here beneath the shadow of the cross, I'm overwhelmed that I keep finding open arms”
So many times in life, storms come and go.. People come and go.. And when times are so overwhelming, that it takes your breath away, and you feel all alone, and you feel like you deserve to be abandoned and have no one to run to. It’s when you can just stop everything, say nothing, and just let the one that really matters remind you that he still loves you, and still thinks you are precious. Trying to understand his love is what is tough, but while you are dealing with so much doubt, he never left you.. I have this vision of every time a person falls down flat on their face, and have no desire to keep going.. That a small tiny seed of hope shows up, and so you pick yourself up and dust yourself off, and just run into those arms that are always waiting for you.. We have been told that as long as your heart is still beating, and as long as your still breathing, there is always hope..

Also read on FB, a cute little cartoon story, that shows Jesus talking to a fella, saying you see there is our foot prints where I walked with you thru that storm, and right there is where I had to drag you..Whether you are being walked with, carried or dragged, just know you are not alone..

You are never alone, and you are loved..



Hammett's Vacation 2012

My silly fellas at the Aquarium Gift shop

So we went on Vacation.. It has been a couple of years that we have been able to do anything, because of Travis’s job. We usually go to San Antonio. My kids and I never get tired of it. We usually only go for 2 days, so each day I have everything planned out and by the time we get back we are exhausted and dragging for days. This year, Trav was in charge of planning the vacation. He wanted to take the kids to the coast. They have never seen the beach and ocean so I was pretty excited. Even better we actually planned a longer vacation. We had planned to leave on Sunday and come back Wednesday, and Trav found us a condo right off the beach. The kids were super excited, than we find out that Trav booked us a hotel in San Antonio and we were leaving a day early, so that I could still go do the River Walk and get my Mexican food fix. Plus, ever since Ciera grew up and had decided she wanted her own life, she has missed the last two family vacations. So this year we invited my oldest niece on my side Taylor. Her and Jasmine are 6 days shy of being a year apart, and we like to take someone that can watch Jasmine and keep her occupied when Trav and I want alone time. Since the boys have built in buddies with each other. So this worked out perfectly. Plus Taylor is a blast and a total sweetheart.

Tay and Jazz meet their relative the Parrot.

So we left Saturday afternoon, and the first stop Travis wanted to make was Inner Space Caverns.

Aaron and Tay modeling the cavern hard hats

Now the last time Trav and I visited a cavern was when I was 5 months pregnant with Jasmine. It was our very first vacation without kids. And we really enjoyed the tour. So we wanted the kids to experience it also, and they really did. The temp in the cavern ranged about 76 to 80. The temp outside was almost 100. Our tour guide was very knowledgeable, and gave us some great history facts.

Inside the Cavern, a nice cool 78

Next stop was our Hotel in the ghetto! We usually always stay downtown next to the River Walk. But you get what you pay for. It was good enough for our one night stay. We freshened up and headed to the River Walk. Now, let me say. It was HOT, Trav did not stop to feed us lunch, and it was already 7pm, so hot and hungry kids and me, are not very pleasant. We finally found the place we eat at, and there was a 2 hour wait. So we decided to try something new, and they sat us pretty fast, but the food and service was not worth the price.. But it was Taylor’s first time to see the River Walk so that alone was worth it. I think once we got back to the hotel, (after Trav got us lost) we all agreed we were ready to get to the Coast..

Me and Jazz after some good mexican food on the river walk

Finally, the next morning we got up and went to Market Square, which the kids love looking at all the stores and buying stuff. We bought a couple of souvenirs for the family back home, and we headed to Corpus.

Girls posing as the wave snuck up on them

We were greeted with a nice hard rain shower. It was very refreshing. And as soon as we came to the big bridge in Corpus my camera came out and I went Picture crazy. We checked into are condo, which was so great for us. We unloaded and then Trav and I went to wally world to buy groceries for the wk. We spent that day and evening relaxing on the beach, playing in the water, having sand fights, and me screaming when a Jelly Fish got near me. Needless to say, that was the first and last time I will get in water that is not clear and fishy free and full of Chlorine. The next few days, consisted of me waking up early, grabbing my bowl of cereal and spending alone time on the balcony listening to my music. Every one else slept in, and we just were laid back and no rushing around. I enjoyed taking my naps, and we went to see The Aquarium, and visited all the little shops and bought souvenirs, and we ate at Pier 99 which is off the coast. Trav took the kids to the U.S.S Lexington, and they had a great time. And Trav and I went on a date, where we went to a steak house, that was very good. And we spent the evening walking and talking along the beach. This vacation was a much needed refresher for our marriage. It was like a breath of fresh air and new beginnings for the rest of our lives together.. God’s perfect timing as always..

We all were dreading leaving for real life at home, but we took the long 7 hour trip home on Wednesday morning,.. And we spent the rest of our vacation doing laundry, sleeping and watching TV. And here we are.. Back to reality, but oh so very thankful for the opportunity to make such amazing memories for our little family..

After a nice quiet walk along the beach