Watch Your Mouth...

Hola Blog Followers.. 

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read the randomness that goes on in this crazy head of mine. 

I know I am not a professional writer..

 I know that I may misspell words or put them in the wrong context. 

But I love to blog and share and I appreciate each of you expressing your thoughts and encouraging me thru out life’s journey…

Which brings me to this blog topic.. 

We always hear different people talking about how all it takes is one time, or one person to begin to make a difference.

 I had been dealing with something and finally had a “Ah Ha” moment..

 Let me share..

A couple of weeks ago, after I blogged, I was feeling really down. I was struggling with my emotions and trying to grasp and understand why certain things happen.

 I was quite upset or shall I say frustrated with a certain person, whom I do love with all my heart.

One of my friends and blog follower, messaged me and was being very kind and just checking on me. I really appreciated her doing this. Her sweet friendship too.

 So I thought, I could share my heart and started to vent and explain why I was hurting..

She stopped me right away.

Totally caught me off guard.

She said, I am sorry you are hurting, but I love (insert person name here) and I won’t believe one word you say about her. How can I pray for you..?

Oh gosh, I was stunned.

I did not know what to say.

I thought about it all day and just kept shaking my head.

It stuck with me for a couple of weeks.

 After much praying. I finally think I understand why it has stuck with me..

Don’t get me wrong,  I think it is ok to vent. I think it is good to have people you can trust and who can be a good listener. Who listen and then pray with you. To help you see both sides..

But what that friend did, ministered to my heart.

It made me desire that kind of devotion.

That when someone is venting about me, that someone will say “Wait, Stop.. I love Amanda and I am sorry you are hurting, but I won’t believe one bad word you say about her”

Wow..

Can you imagine how much of a difference that would make in this crazy world.?

 I desire that, that even when I have screwed up, that someone would stop the gossip. 

That because I have been good to people, because my relationships matter, because people know my true heart..

That it makes a huge impact in a person’s life that they stop the negative in its tracks.

 Don’t you? All it takes is one person..

SO thank you to that person, for ministering to my heart in a way that I have not seen before. For helping me to see beyond myself.

To help me see that even when I am frustrated and hurting.. I need to match my talking with my prayers.. 

Living, Loving and Learning.. 

Oh My Aching Heart...

Not really sure how other people deal with heartache in their lives, but it seems if I write about it, just maybe it will bring me some closure.

All my life I try my best to cherish each relationship that is brought into my life, and unfortunately I have been hurt many times because of this.

Trav says I get too attached to people.

But I honestly do not know how to just “half butt” how I feel about people.

I love with all I have and want to be sure people know they are special.

Of course after a few rejections or if that person does something to me to cause harm on purpose, I start to back away slowly and love from afar. 

Recently, a certain person whom I love with all my heart, more than likely won’t get to be part of my life anymore. And unfortunately we have no say, as that Is how some relationships end.

Jazz and I had a good cry fest for a couple of days.

 Even though part of this is wonderful news, there are innocent bystanders in whom this will affect.

This week I have had vivid dreams of hugging this precious person. And her asking me as she is squeezing my neck, "where I have been"?  I was crying so hard that I woke myself up bawling.

This gave me the opportunity to pray a fierce prayer for this precious person..

And that is what is getting me thru.

My hope is that...

She will be loved every day of her life.

That she will never spend a day doubting how amazingly precious she is.

That she will always remember how much I love her, and that I made an impression in her life to last a life time. Because she will always have a special place in my heart.

That she will grow up and be surrounded by good people who support and cheer her on in life.

And that she is protected from the top of her precious head to the tips of her tiny toes.

I will never understand why things happen the way they do, why people are brought into our lives who won’t get to stay.

But I have to trust in HIS promise, and know that something even better is coming along.

 I just had the awesome privilege of getting a tiny taste of how good life will be..

And oh my heart, because that was a sweet taste.