Ewe.. Forgiveness..

Yes, I know this is supposed to be the month for just Thankful Posts.

But, I am in the mood to share.

The last month God has been stirring up some feelings in me, which honestly I tried to ignore. But, than our Pastor was confirming those things, than we had a guest speaker who also confirmed those things. So, instead of stomping my feet, and sticking my tongue out, and saying “I can’t hear you”!
I had to pray for strength to learn from this. To learn “how to even begin.”


Like my fello blogger Rachel Taylor says, I won’t tell all my dirty laundry.

But, let’s just say, that Christmas last year, my world fell apart. I acted a fool at our family get together, and hurt some people, one of those who has been apart of my every day life, and I have not spoken to him for almost a year. And oh, how I Miss him and his family like crazy. It is breath taking at times.

Around the same time, a very close  friend of mine, moved far away to another state, and she really struggled with being over there, and let’s just say, we all had no idea what the move would do to us, and we struggled with understanding how to be there for each other, and it got ugly quickly, and we all walked away, heart broken, and confused. She tried many times, to make amends, but I was not very kind and felt that I had plenty of reason to hold my grudge.
In my mind, I was protecting my heart. But in reality, I was acting like a child, telling her, that I could not forgive her.(sigh) Nope, not one of my proudest moments..

Than, a couple of  Sundays ago, my Wonderful Pastor taught, and I honestly don’t know the title; iit was something about the heart. But, what stuck out was something about that person that always gets offended, and walks away from the relationships. I get an elbow to my side from my sweet and amazing husband, and I look over and see my twins looking my direction, and I am like “Gee Thanks fellas! “ Can you feel the love?!

That evening, I was talking to God, and I told him, how I miss my family member, and how I just don’t understand how he won’t forgive me! And it was like it hit me square in the face. Basically asking me, how I want to be forgiven, but yet, I am not willing to forgive the people who have hurt me. Yep! Ouch!

I look back now, and I think about how many relationships I have slammed the door on, and cannot even remember why! How crazy is that?! AT the time, I felt it was bad enough to give up on a relationship, but now, it seems so small. Don't get me wrong, I know why a few of them ended. We all grow, we all change, and our goals in life go different directions. And there is nothing wrong with that. But, I am not proud to admit that some have ended, just because of my own selfishness. It seems it is way passed time to come off my high horse, and quit behaving like I am the greatest gift from God, and learn to love unconditionally. To love everyone, during the good times, but especially the bad times. I need to realize, that it is not always about me, and that I need to quit expecting so much from people. To just be thankful for everything!


So there you go! For some reason, I was supposed to share this with my followers. So let that sink in and marinate. And let’s start working on “us”..

Hope you enjoyed the "Random Pictures!"

Thankful Post "My Cameron Lee"

My Cameron Lee..

My baby boy, I know he is going to hate being called that one day, but I will do it as long as I can get away with it.  Cam is just 2 minutes younger than his brother, he is twin B. Weighing in at 4.5 lbs, and only spending 1 wk and 5 days in the hospital,. Again I fell madly in love with him, from the first time I held his little body.

Cameron has my personality, very quiet and laid back, and people watches. You won’t find him looking for the center of attention. Even though he is extremely smart, and catches on to things quickly, he won’t be raising his hand to be called on for the answer.

We find it amusing how different our twins are, Cameron has watched his brother always try and be the best at everything, but when Cameron finds his passion, and can beat Aaron, oh he loves to rub it is his face. Cameron don’t mind just getting by, he don’t have to be the best, just the fact that he gave it his all, makes him happy.

 VDO games and being on the computer and learning history is his love in life. If you showed up at our place, that is what you would find him doing. Trav and I call him our “Special Child” cause he needs just a little more push to get things done, a little more direction. I have told him, that he is not allowed to leave home, he said free rent sounds great to him! Since he was a toddler, this little boy is the one to always end up in the E.R. From two broken collar bones, broken arm, busted forehead, and a hammer to the top of his head, he keeps me busy! Cameron also has that horrible speak before you think syndrom. I think it is common in most Hammett males. LOL Even though he is my sweetheart, and would never hurt people on purpose, it always seems to come out wrong when he says something. Cam has a big heart, and is always thoughtful of other people, sometimes he just acts to dang grown for his age.

 Cam, I am so thankful to have you as my handsome son. What a honor to watch you grow into a fine young man, who loves Jesus, and has big plans for your future. Don’t forget about your momma, who always has your back, and who is always ready to protect you from that mean daddy of yours, when your big and famous! Always remember who you are and smile that gorgeous smile, and keep on keepin on. Love you buddy!

Thankful Post "My Aaron Dean"

My Aaron Dean.. 

When I talk about my twins, I usually talk about them together. But this time, I think I want to blog two separate days for my fellas.

So twin 1, Aaron Dean.

My first born baby! He came into this world, after having me on bed rest for 3 months, in the hospital for two wks, and than a fun helicopter ride to down town Fort Worth, weighing in at only 4.4 pds. But, he was a screaming, healthy baby boy. Instantly, I fell in love with him.

Aaron has always been my go getter. I never really have to let him know when he does wrong, because he already beats himself up. His attitude has always been, if he is not the best, than he did not try hard enough. From day one, he was always the first to roll over, crawl, walk, talk,. He thrives to beat his twin at everything he can. He also, loves attention. He will be the one raising his hand, and telling jokes. He definitely has his daddy’s personality. If you are around him, than you can bet he will have you laughing. He is the life of the party. Loves to dance, and just make people have a good time.

Aaron is not only great looking, but he is smart and loving. He has a tender heart, and tries his best to be the son, brother, student, friend, sports player that he knows he can be. He always finds ways to encourage me, and to cheer me up when he see’s I am down. He always tries to see the cup half full, when we see it half empty. I look forward to see how God uses him in his life, and the type of career he will have. I look forward to see him grow into a fine man, husband, and father.

Aaron, thank you for being a blessing in my life. From day one, I knew you would always bring me joy, and not a day goes by, that I am proud to be your mom, and your biggest fan. Keep your head up, enjoy life, and don’t grow up so fast. Keep on showing those gorgeous teeth, and your spunky personality, and I know that you my son, will live an amazing life!

Thankful Post "Angie"

Meet my very quiet and sweet friend Angie!

I know some may find this hard to believe, but I am usually the quiet one out of all my friends. But Angie has me beat for sure. Her and her family moved to our area, a couple of years ago. I met her thru some mutual friends. Over the summer, my family got really close to her and her little family. She is married to T.D. who is a great guy, and a lot of fun to be around. He and Trav are so much alike! And they both keep us laughing non stop! And she has 3 daughters!

I decided to blog about her for a few reasons.

One, I am just excited to have made friends with another family, who actually enjoys doing family things together! Who have the same outlook on life? And don’t deal with all that silly drama!!

Two, I am thrilled, I have met a friend who let’s me spoil her precious baby!
And last, to tell how Angie ministered to me..

Like I said, over the summer we got really close. A group of our friends would have family night at each of our homes. We had lots of cook outs, we put fires out together. We watched each others kids play softball. We just had a blast! Angie and T.D. were always smiling, very friendly, than they shared the news with us about her expecting! We were all giddy with excitement, (ok, maybe it was more me that was giddy)..

So, life kept on going on. Than they hit hard times. We found out TD lost his job, he had known for a couple of wks, but they did not want to bring us down, so they still had dinner at their place, and never acted down either! Umm, lets not forget that they just found out they were pregnant! Than her daughter breaks her ankle, and is taken to the emergency room. Again, no job! It seemed from the outside looking in, that they were taking hit after hit. But, during that entire time, Angie never had a bad attitude. She was always smiling; she was walking the track every single night, in that brutal summer heat. This woman was remarkable. I know, I would have crawled in bed, in the fetal position, and just cried!

I honestly believe, that because of Angie’s wonderful attitude, thru out all this. Is why, things are going so great for her and her precious family now. T.D got a great job, working for Coca Cola, Angie gave birth to a precious baby girl, and her daughter did not require surgery for her ankle. Angie is still smiling, and just enjoying being a stay at home mommy.

So Angie. I just wanted you to know, that I watched you thru those times, and prayed many prayers. And I am still just amazed at how you handled everything. Your strong Faith, ministered to me that God will take care of everything. So, thank you for being a part of my life, for setting such a great example, and I look forward to many years of family fun!

Thankful Post "My Ciera"

My Ciera Nichole..

Lordy, Lordy, she has been something else..lol

I first met her when she had just turned 6 years old. When I started dating her daddy.

This little girl had the biggest smile ever! A big time daddy’s girl. In the beginning, I had no idea that Trav actually had full custody of her, so I figured I could handle the every other wkend and occasional holidays. But, nope! We had her all the time. Lol

 Ciera, has such a joy for life. She accepted me with no problems, but wanted to be loving with hugs and kisses all the time, but I did not grow up with that type of affection, so it was awkward for me. I learned quickly how to fake it till I made it. After a year of dating, Trav and I got married. Ciera was the only one there for that, and she giggled thru the entire thing. Right after we said the “I Do’s” she asked me if she could call me mommy?!

 So here I am, 17 years old, pregnant with twins, and a mother to a 7 year old. Many days, I wondered what the heck my husband was thinking. Many days, I wondered how my dad made it look so easy!

But, my heart broke for this little girl. At the age of 7 she had been thru so much, and I knew that it was going to be my job, to love this little girl like she was my very own. I knew there was going to be tough days, but the good days, always out weighed the tough ones. So I sucked it up, and did the things, I had only wished my mom would have done for me. I let her get many brushes stuck in my curly hair. I played store with her, so she could learn how to count money. I was the home room mother, and stayed up late when Ciera volunteered me to make lasagna for the entire class. I took her to those early morning basketball games, and dance classes, and softball games. After a couple of years of playing this part, I realized that it became a natural thing. And that I had fallen madly in love with this little girl. Instead of playing the part, I learned that it was an honor to be her “mother”. I have to admit, there were times I forgot she was not from me. We NEVER referred to her as the step child, she was never treated like a step child. We always said the only steps in our home were the front porch ones.

So, life flew by quickly! We stayed busy, living life, and being a family. We made it thru the pre-teen years just fine. We barely made it thru the teen years, and ugh the high school days were brutal, lol and now she is an adult.

Almost 16 years later, here we are.

Ciera Nichole!! We MADE it! Whoohoo!

I thank God with all my heart for bringing you into my life. I spent many prayers, begging God not to allow me to fail you, or to screw you up.

 It has been quite the honor to call you my daughter. I may not have given birth to you, but I see a lot of my qualities instilled in you. From the “go to hell” look, to the “don’t mess with me or I will kick you butt” attitude.

You have some of the same passions as me, and it brings me much pleasure that I was there for the many first that you experienced.

 To watch you grow into such an amazing young women, who is feisty, yet loving.

Who is stubborn, but yet giving.

 To hurt when you were hurting, to be there to pick you up, when you had to learn a lesson for yourself.

 To be excited when you met your goals.

 To keep from screaming on the outside like I was on the inside, when I wanted to cause some boys some physical harm for hurting my baby.

To being your biggest cheerleader!

 I am so proud of who you are today! And I look forward to all that God has planned for you. Cause no matter what you choose; I know you are going to be absolutely amazing!