Note To My Friends...

It’s kind of crazy and messed up.. 

How we allow lies from the pit of hell try to come in and steal our joy..
 Over the last couple of months. 

Thoughts come to mind, things like..

" I am not good enough" 

" I will fail" 

"No one cares" 

" Life would be better if you are not around"

 ”Why do you even bother”

With much prayer time.. I know I am in a battle with my own thoughts.
 And I have to learn to shut them out.. To be still.. To know he is still God and is still in control.  To know how much HE loves me, and how HE thinks so highly of me.

Than 2 wks ago I started having horrible nightmares. I wake up in tears and have to calm myself down. I again have had to learn to just pray and thank God for protecting me and mine. Until the feelings pass. 

By this time I am sure you are thinking what I am, I mean come on, someone go ahead and admit me. This crap gets old.. But I refuse to get back on anxiety meds. I have to move forward.

So I have really stayed to myself.  It’s how I handle and deal with these things lately. Than last wk, three different people on three different  days text me to ask if I was mad at them. So next lie came to mind.. "you are a horrible friend and don't deserve good friendships".  So in reply to those texts and to all my lovely friends..
Right now, at this time in my life I am just content with my friends who  want to be part of my life and want me in their lives.,  That they know I am a text, phone call or email away.  That I will reply right away, almost always unless I  don’t get your text because of my lovely cell phone service.  I will pray for you on the spot, I will go to dinner or movies when invited..  I will listen and only respond if you want a response.
I will celebrate life with you when times are great,  and I will cry with you when life sucks.  I will cheer you on when you feel like giving up.  I will stand by you and with you for during all those times.  I will do my part. I may not be the one to send the first text every single day.
But that is all I can promise. That’s all I can devote.  I am in a new season in life.  I am sitting back, slowing down, and just enjoying one day at a time. My babies are growing up..  My marriage is thriving..  My hubby has become my one true best friend.  And that makes my heart happy. SO please don't take it personal.  This is just me.