Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Dearest Ciera...

Dearest My Ciera Nichole...
As Mother’s day is around the corner, I can’t help but think of the last 16 years as being your mom.
It has been a while that I don’t see you as that scrawny, 6 year old, clingy, chatty little girl.

We had to learn together how to make this crazy thing we call life work. But, because we both had big hearts and lots of love we made it work.

I watched you grow from being the only child, to being over taken with twin baby bubbas, that you adored and could not get enough of. You let them crawl all over you, and sneak into your bed in the middle of the night, and never complained. I admit, I was worried when we found out we were having Jazzy, cause I did not want you to not like her. But was tickled when you fell madly in love with her, and did not complain too much when she wanted to be under your feet 24/7. The fact that she acts and looks just like you makes me laugh. It’s like I am getting to raise you all over again. LORD HELP ME!!!
Than came the teen years and high school. Those were brutal, but I sure enjoyed watching you cheer and dance on those Friday Nights, and kind of enjoyed watching you grow to realize what friendship and boys were all about.

Ohhh, but I have to admit the years after high school were the ones that I learned that being on my knees praying, crying and begging God to be with you all the time were tough times. I knew you had to spread your wings and fly, I knew you had to be on your own, and date, and party, and get heart broken a few times. Yes, I butted in a few times, to warn you of certain people and their intention, and there were a couple of “I told you so” moments, but I knew that watching you Go thru tough times would be the only way for you to learn from your own mistakes and the ones of the people you cared about. So many sleepless nights of wondering if you were ok, if you were going to make it. Those times, were brutal on your momma’s heart.


But Ciera, look at you now.. I was jumping for joy when you came back home and decided it was time for college. And now you made it thru your first class, and you passed with flying colors. While working a full time job. I am just so proud of you..
And I will even admit that this fella who has stole your heart, and put that twinkle back in your eyes, has made me realize that maybe you have a clue of what you want in life.

I know that I have not been perfect. I know that I have been tough on you, and have pushed you.


But, I see you now, and it is nice to see that you finally believe in yourself, and you finally see that you deserve only the best. And you deserve to be happy and loved.


Your dad and I have always known what you were capable of. We always believed in you. And yes many days of being grounded and us showing frustration was part of that.


But, yesterday when you were my date to the boys’ banquet. And hearing you lecture your brothers, and going off on them about how they treat me.


Seeing you about to jump out of your seat to smack Aaron, when he was acting like he was raising his voice at me.
That moment right there melted my heart..
Thank you Ciera, for 16 wonderful years of being my daughter.


I love you more than you could even imagine..


Now, about those grandbabies…. =0)

Love Always
   Mom


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