Note To My Friends...

It’s kind of crazy and messed up.. 

How we allow lies from the pit of hell try to come in and steal our joy..
 Over the last couple of months. 

Thoughts come to mind, things like..

" I am not good enough" 

" I will fail" 

"No one cares" 

" Life would be better if you are not around"

 ”Why do you even bother”

With much prayer time.. I know I am in a battle with my own thoughts.
 And I have to learn to shut them out.. To be still.. To know he is still God and is still in control.  To know how much HE loves me, and how HE thinks so highly of me.

Than 2 wks ago I started having horrible nightmares. I wake up in tears and have to calm myself down. I again have had to learn to just pray and thank God for protecting me and mine. Until the feelings pass. 

By this time I am sure you are thinking what I am, I mean come on, someone go ahead and admit me. This crap gets old.. But I refuse to get back on anxiety meds. I have to move forward.

So I have really stayed to myself.  It’s how I handle and deal with these things lately. Than last wk, three different people on three different  days text me to ask if I was mad at them. So next lie came to mind.. "you are a horrible friend and don't deserve good friendships".  So in reply to those texts and to all my lovely friends..
Right now, at this time in my life I am just content with my friends who  want to be part of my life and want me in their lives.,  That they know I am a text, phone call or email away.  That I will reply right away, almost always unless I  don’t get your text because of my lovely cell phone service.  I will pray for you on the spot, I will go to dinner or movies when invited..  I will listen and only respond if you want a response.
I will celebrate life with you when times are great,  and I will cry with you when life sucks.  I will cheer you on when you feel like giving up.  I will stand by you and with you for during all those times.  I will do my part. I may not be the one to send the first text every single day.
But that is all I can promise. That’s all I can devote.  I am in a new season in life.  I am sitting back, slowing down, and just enjoying one day at a time. My babies are growing up..  My marriage is thriving..  My hubby has become my one true best friend.  And that makes my heart happy. SO please don't take it personal.  This is just me.

Reminder...

It’s been an interesting couple of wks in this crazy thing we call life.

We “I” get so caught up in the daily things like work, kids, bills, fb, getting ready for a new school year. And I allow things, silly things to control my thoughts and attitude. Yes, I know it’s wrong, and that I should stay focused. I know that I should have control over my thoughts and how I act and react to certain things. Just sometimes I get tired of all the BS.. But last wk we got a reality check in our little home. Trav had not been feeling well. And I am a nag about him not taking care of himself. And I asked him to go to dr. He of course was like, “I am fine” but come Monday morning he called into work. If ya know my hubby he never misses work. And It concerned me, so I again suggested “nagged” him about going to dr. He finally gave in and went. We find out that he showed signs of having a heat stroke. We are not gonna lie. This scared the crap out of us. He took a couple of days off to rest and recover per dr’s orders. We watched him carefully. Probably annoyed the crap out of him. And during that time, I allowed the enemy to come in and mess with my thoughts. I started questioning why this was allowed to happen to him. I wanted to reach out to someone, anyone who could answer my questions or just listen. But I honestly at the time felt like I was alone. Like I had no one to tell.  And let me tell you, that is a horrible place to be. I had to keep myself together for my kids and show no fear. I surely did not want to vent to my hubby about it. Although he could tell something was wrong. I was kind of upset at God for even allowing this to happen. And so I just let it stir and stir and I got angrier each day, and by Wednesday I was laid up in bed with a full blown migraine. I was in tears, and I just let it all out. I had a good talking to God, I reminded him because I thought maybe he forgot how good my husband is. How giving he is, and how he jumps to help anyone in need. How he works his butt off to provide for us.  I reminded him that we serve in areas, and we even do it on days we really don’t feel like it. I continued to cry and pout and then I turned on my music.. It was His turn to remind me of his goodness. Song after song it talked about his love for me. I was reminded of all the things my husband and I have conquered because of him. I was reminded how my children have been protected because of him. How we have all we need and many extras because He is the one who has provided for us.. How he has never left my side, that I have never been alone.  And if anything this heat stroke was a way of getting Trav’s attention to stop and slow down and enjoy the life that we have right now. It was a message for me to stay focused. To turn off all the distractions and focus on what really matters in life. I know it was the enemy trying to kill, steal and destroy my precious family. Lie after lie, but he failed. And we are stronger for this. Now Trav is fine, we are thanking God for no permanent damage. We found out a medication he takes is probably what caused  his body to react to the severe Texas heat. So he is on the road to recovery. 

So I am sharing this song called "Forever" by Kari Jobe

"

The moon and stars they wept
The morning sun was dead
The Saviour of the world was fallen
His body on the cross
His blood poured out for us
The weight of every curse upon him

One final breath he gave
As heaven looked away
The son of God was laid in darkness
A battle in the grave
The war on death was waged
The power of hell forever broken

The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
his perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting?
Our resurrected King
Has rendered you defeated

Forever he is glorified
Forever he is lifted high
Forever he is risen
He is alive, He is alive!

The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
his perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting?
Our resurrected King
Has rendered you defeated

Forever he is glorified
Forever he is lifted high
Forever he is risen
He is alive, He is alive!

We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
The Lamb has overcome

Forever he is glorified
Forever he is lifted high
Forever he is risen
He is alive, He is alive!

You have overcome
You have overcome
You have overcome
You have overcome