What Really Matters...

Learning is part of life.
In the last two weeks, I have been going thru a brutal roller coaster ride..
But, once I spent many hours and days flat on my face praying and just begging for answers.. Being very quiet, staying off my phone, facebook, texting, emailing..
Turning off the outside world.
I realized I lost my focus..
We all seem to get so caught up in the things that really don’t matter.
Whether it is because you got discouraged, or you just gave up.. Or if you are nursing your hurts. But, when you sit back and re-focus on what really matters. On the ONE who is your everything, than the rest of the important stuff falls into place.
God knows all the details, he knows how you felt and how you feel in all those difficult times. And because he loves you, because he has mercy and grace, he can restore those relationships that meant and mean the world to you.
Just keep him first in everything you do.
I was reminded that this crazy little family is oh so very precious to me..
They are what really matters..

What Love Is This?..

One of my most favorite songs is by Kari Jobe, “What Love Is This”.
In the song she sings “I'm standing here beneath the shadow of the cross, I'm overwhelmed that I keep finding open arms”
So many times in life, storms come and go.. People come and go.. And when times are so overwhelming, that it takes your breath away, and you feel all alone, and you feel like you deserve to be abandoned and have no one to run to. It’s when you can just stop everything, say nothing, and just let the one that really matters remind you that he still loves you, and still thinks you are precious. Trying to understand his love is what is tough, but while you are dealing with so much doubt, he never left you.. I have this vision of every time a person falls down flat on their face, and have no desire to keep going.. That a small tiny seed of hope shows up, and so you pick yourself up and dust yourself off, and just run into those arms that are always waiting for you.. We have been told that as long as your heart is still beating, and as long as your still breathing, there is always hope..

Also read on FB, a cute little cartoon story, that shows Jesus talking to a fella, saying you see there is our foot prints where I walked with you thru that storm, and right there is where I had to drag you..Whether you are being walked with, carried or dragged, just know you are not alone..

You are never alone, and you are loved..



Hammett's Vacation 2012

My silly fellas at the Aquarium Gift shop

So we went on Vacation.. It has been a couple of years that we have been able to do anything, because of Travis’s job. We usually go to San Antonio. My kids and I never get tired of it. We usually only go for 2 days, so each day I have everything planned out and by the time we get back we are exhausted and dragging for days. This year, Trav was in charge of planning the vacation. He wanted to take the kids to the coast. They have never seen the beach and ocean so I was pretty excited. Even better we actually planned a longer vacation. We had planned to leave on Sunday and come back Wednesday, and Trav found us a condo right off the beach. The kids were super excited, than we find out that Trav booked us a hotel in San Antonio and we were leaving a day early, so that I could still go do the River Walk and get my Mexican food fix. Plus, ever since Ciera grew up and had decided she wanted her own life, she has missed the last two family vacations. So this year we invited my oldest niece on my side Taylor. Her and Jasmine are 6 days shy of being a year apart, and we like to take someone that can watch Jasmine and keep her occupied when Trav and I want alone time. Since the boys have built in buddies with each other. So this worked out perfectly. Plus Taylor is a blast and a total sweetheart.

Tay and Jazz meet their relative the Parrot.

So we left Saturday afternoon, and the first stop Travis wanted to make was Inner Space Caverns.

Aaron and Tay modeling the cavern hard hats

Now the last time Trav and I visited a cavern was when I was 5 months pregnant with Jasmine. It was our very first vacation without kids. And we really enjoyed the tour. So we wanted the kids to experience it also, and they really did. The temp in the cavern ranged about 76 to 80. The temp outside was almost 100. Our tour guide was very knowledgeable, and gave us some great history facts.

Inside the Cavern, a nice cool 78

Next stop was our Hotel in the ghetto! We usually always stay downtown next to the River Walk. But you get what you pay for. It was good enough for our one night stay. We freshened up and headed to the River Walk. Now, let me say. It was HOT, Trav did not stop to feed us lunch, and it was already 7pm, so hot and hungry kids and me, are not very pleasant. We finally found the place we eat at, and there was a 2 hour wait. So we decided to try something new, and they sat us pretty fast, but the food and service was not worth the price.. But it was Taylor’s first time to see the River Walk so that alone was worth it. I think once we got back to the hotel, (after Trav got us lost) we all agreed we were ready to get to the Coast..

Me and Jazz after some good mexican food on the river walk

Finally, the next morning we got up and went to Market Square, which the kids love looking at all the stores and buying stuff. We bought a couple of souvenirs for the family back home, and we headed to Corpus.

Girls posing as the wave snuck up on them

We were greeted with a nice hard rain shower. It was very refreshing. And as soon as we came to the big bridge in Corpus my camera came out and I went Picture crazy. We checked into are condo, which was so great for us. We unloaded and then Trav and I went to wally world to buy groceries for the wk. We spent that day and evening relaxing on the beach, playing in the water, having sand fights, and me screaming when a Jelly Fish got near me. Needless to say, that was the first and last time I will get in water that is not clear and fishy free and full of Chlorine. The next few days, consisted of me waking up early, grabbing my bowl of cereal and spending alone time on the balcony listening to my music. Every one else slept in, and we just were laid back and no rushing around. I enjoyed taking my naps, and we went to see The Aquarium, and visited all the little shops and bought souvenirs, and we ate at Pier 99 which is off the coast. Trav took the kids to the U.S.S Lexington, and they had a great time. And Trav and I went on a date, where we went to a steak house, that was very good. And we spent the evening walking and talking along the beach. This vacation was a much needed refresher for our marriage. It was like a breath of fresh air and new beginnings for the rest of our lives together.. God’s perfect timing as always..

We all were dreading leaving for real life at home, but we took the long 7 hour trip home on Wednesday morning,.. And we spent the rest of our vacation doing laundry, sleeping and watching TV. And here we are.. Back to reality, but oh so very thankful for the opportunity to make such amazing memories for our little family..

After a nice quiet walk along the beach

 

One Day, One Pound, at a time...

 Ever wonder why we can be our own biggest critic? I have whined and complained about my weight cause I lost so much, and than gained some back. A few of my sweet friends and my hubby kept telling me how I have still come a long way. But  I really wanted to reach my goal by August 2012. Going thru pictures from last 2 years, I got see something that made me feel better.. I am still about 30 pounds away from my life time goal. But, all I can do is be grateful with how far I have come, and take one day and one pound at a time. I will let the following pictures tell the rest of my story..

The first two pictures were from December 2010, I finally sucked it up and took a family picture. And actually had family members and old friends ask me what happened that I let myself go! I had to start buying clothes at lane Bryant and Catherines, and hated the way I looked when I saw myself in pictures or in the mirror. Yeah this is when I felt like my world was falling apart too. 



December 2010, My heaviest at 224pds.

I started having medical issues, words like lupus and rheumatoid Arthritis were being thrown at me. So after I threw a huge pitty party for myself. I got off my bootie and started working out. I spent many days crying from the pain of my ankles because of all the weight when I worked out.. But my friends and hubby cheered me on.. 


Actually started losing weight, this was July of 2011, had lost over 25 pds

August 2011: Finally feeling good, and was down to 195pds

Was walking 2 miles every morning at the crack of dawn, and couting points. I was motivated and did not want to look back.. Decided 2012 was going to be the best year ever..
The next picture is from January of 2012. I was down to 166 pds.

Now it is July 2012, I got lazy and quit working out. I seemed to have gained and lost the same 10 pds over and over this year. I went from wearing a size 18 almost 20 to now a 10 and some 12's. I am in the 170's to 180's now. But when I look where I was at the end of 2010, I am pretty proud of my results today. This blog was to encourage those who struggle with their weight each day, that hard work does pay off. You just have to quit with the many reason why you can't lose weight and take one day at a time.. Now onto to getting rid of those last 30 pds for good.












Daddy's Girls

We all see sweet little quotes about being a daddy’s girl.

That talks about us meeting our prince charming one day..

All the little fairy tales to live happily ever after.

I was always told that we end up marrying a guy that is like our daddy. And that may not be the case for everyone,. But I had the privilege of being a daddy’s girl. So, I admit that some of my hubby’s traits do resemble my dad. Trav is a problem solver. He does what ever it takes to make sure we have everything we could ever want or need. The love and compassion he has for his girls, always bring me so much joy. It has always been his girls, and my boys. Not sure if that is something common in most households or not. 

Of course Trav and I just want our children to be happy in everything they do. Unfortunately, one thing that stinks about being a parent, is watching your babies get heart broken. Because you cannot do anything to help prevent it, just be there for them, and I have stayed on my knees many nights just praying for my kiddos and who God has for them. I will admit, I am not that easy to please. I love all four of my children, and so the momma bear does kind of come out when I see someone mistreating my cubs. And I may never be 100% satisfied with the spouses my kids choose. But my true heart is that they will be happy and loved.

But for my girls, I just want them to always remember how special they are, that they don’t ever allow any man to put them down or break their spirit.

That they should not be out there chasing the fellas, but only be chased by them. 

That this guy, goes out of his way to show her how special she is.

That they are never made to feel degraded, or disrespected.

That he is man enough to show PDA, and never get too comfy to where holding hands and sharing French fries comes to an end.

That when they are with a group of friends, they can look at each other from across the room, and know exactly what thoughts come to mind.

That they both know that marriage is hard, but you have to get up each day and choose to work at it,..

That the couple who prays together, stays together..

That communication is very important.

That he will cheer her on, even when she is having "FAT Days"..

That he is someone who can make them laugh thru those bad days.

That saying “I am sorry” and actually meaning it is a must.

I want my girls to marry someone who see’s how amazing and precious they are,..

 The same way that Trav and I feel about them. And I know in my heart, that God already has someone picked out for them.

I look forward to meeting these Prince Charmings..

Just a Follow Up..

Just a follow up from my passed post about my boys. They of course made it to Canada, and I am told are having the time of their life. I heard that Sunday they got to have lunch with 150+ homeless people. And this week they are helping put together a Kids Camp for the week. Than this morning I got a sweet message that told me how great they were doing, and how they were stepping outside their comfort zones, and praying for others and just ministering to the ones around them. Of course this had me in tears, I am so super proud of my boys, and I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt this is where God wants them right now. But of course I have wasted the last 5 days or so, feeling sorry for myself and throwing myself a big pity party. I laugh now, because my 15 year old fellas are making me look pretty pathetic. I have spent most of the time of course just praying.. Praying for their safety mostly. Amongst other things. My husband has been very patient and loving to me, he knows I am struggling. He has told me this is not healthy behavior. Of course this just makes me angry and I want to punch him and anyone else in the face for trying to tell me how I should be acting. But, I am sooo wrong for that. And I know that. I think when I sit back and look at what the root problem is here, it goes to the fact that I fear and dread the day that my kids will be moved out and on their own. I don’t know life without my kids. Remember I was the 17 year old pregnant girl who moved from my momma’s house straight to living with my hubby. Who already had a kiddo, so we have never been alone. I sit in my living room, and see this strange man in my house, and realize oh my gosh it will be just us in a few years! Lol I know that sounds horrible, and I love my husband to the moon and back. But, it is just a bitter sweet reminder how much many marriages are neglected because we live our lives about the kids.. Looks like God is trying to show me something. And I cannot ignore it anymore. This will be exciting..

On another note, I caught up on some blogs that I follow. And can a person be dreading, but yet know that this is going to be oh so good for me?? My sweet friend, Rachel Taylor at just another day in Paradise http://www.tayloredforthewise.com
a fellow blogger, is starting a series on insecurity. Something that I have dealt with my entire 32 years. I encourage you to follow her blog. I think we could all use a good read and some tips on how to get over ourselves..

I am a Boob Bag...

Let the tears begin.. I am such a big boob bag..
Here I was bragging about myself about how much peace I have about my 15 year old fellas going on this trip to Canada for almost 2 wks. And than yesterday as I was having them try on their nice dress shirts for church and they were freaking out that they would not be able to roll up their sleeves on their own, and Jazzy girl laughing at them asking how the heck they were going to make it without me for two weeks, and us all laughing out loud about it..
Than this morning on the way to work I had a talk with God, and ohhh the tears started falling..
I am now thinking what in the world was I thinking.. !!!

These fellas are too little to go by themselves!!

I can’t send my precious itty bitty baby boys across the world to another country for 6 months (ok 13 days) all by themselves..
I explained to God, this was a mistake, that the money that was given to the boys must have been meant for some other set of twins. So yeah everything only seems to have lined up and fallen into place, but looks can be deceiving RIGHT?! But nope, he has reassured me that this is what he wants for them. That my fellas are following the big plans that HE has for them. And I know that God is going to use my fellas to minister to people all over the world, to show how a life with him is the only way to live. So, yes I will still be a big boob bag, I will cry for the next couple of days.. But, I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do.. And that my fellas will be just fine, and will come back with some amazing stories to tell.
So, again blog followers, pray for my fellas and the rest of the youth group and staff that is going to Canada.. For protection, wisdom courage, and for them to go out there and make Jesus famous..

Ok, so these are the fellas that old enough to go..

Oh, by the way, I decided that short sleeve dress shirts will be best for my fellas, yep Mommy has to make this as easy as possible.. =0)