Tuesday, July 14, 2015

His Precious Peace and Promises


A few months ago, I was worrying so  much that it was making me sick. 
Literally sick. 
I was having horrible nightmares each night that I spent most of my day in tears as I thought of every possible scenario that could happen to my Twins when they left for college.
When I would pour my heart out on fb or to my friends, family, I was met with strange looks and people telling me to basically get over it.
Because I am not the first mom to send her children away to college.
But for me personally it was really giving me severe anxiety. I did not want to get back on my Anxiety meds, I wanted to push thru and feel normal again. I wanted to trust in God like I have been doing all this time.
But apparently I thought that his protection ends when my kids go off to college.! (umm no)


The ladies at my church were invited to this Women’s Conference. I was able to attend and I loved how they ministered to my heart and soul. On just the things that women struggle with daily. At the end of the meetings they held prayer. My precious pastor’s wife turned around and asked me if I needed to go up for prayer. Of course I wanted to, just did not want to go up there alone. So she literally took my hand and walked up there with me. While we waited for my turn, Karin put her arm around me and just started praying. She was being sensitive to the holy spirit and everything that came out of her mouth was what I was struggling with. 
From fear, to feeling alone, my failures, to what people thought of me, to my marriage and the friendships I had lost and wanted back so badly.
 After her sweet prayers I felt this big sense of peace come over me like I had never experience before. 

By the time it was my turn for prayer and I told the guest speaker what I was struggling with, I was already at peace. But when she told me that now more than ever my twins needed me, she caught my attention. She said there was no time to be in fear about them. That now more than ever I needed to stand in faith for them. 
That hit me hard right in the face. 

I went home that night with a lot to think and pray about.
 I have had many conversations with God, about the plans he has for them. I have prayed over my twins and the choices they will make once they leave the nest. I have prayed over the friendships that will be made and the professors they will have. I have thanked God already for putting this plan together for them, and how he will be there every step of the way. And of course for their protection over them wherever they go.
Ever since that day, the peace that I have over me concerning them leaving me has been precious.

Does not mean the tears have stopped though. My tears are for my sadness because I will miss them like crazy. I will miss having a house full of teens. Will miss the way they make me laugh. I will even miss hearing them fight with Jasmine.
And I am reminded how fast high school went for the twins and how even though my Jazzy is starting her freshman year it won’t be long till she is going away to college.

It makes me think of my own momma and how she must of struggled when we left her house. Although I felt she was thrilled to have peace and quiet after we all left.

My Twins will be 6 ½ hours away from me. With the freedom I now have on my wkends I plan to visit them on occasion. And Trav said I get to go to some of their cross country meets. I look forward to that new season in my life. I know that God is going to watch over them, and provide for us financially so that they can go to college there all 4 years.

Now I share this with yall, because I know several mommas out there that are struggling with their babies leaving. I know you are wondering what in the world you are going to do without them. I know your heart aches because you have spent the last 18 years chasing and supporting everything they have done. 
So I am praying for you. 
I am praying that peace overtakes you right now. 
That even though we will miss them like crazy, we will be ok. 
That our hearts are healed. 
That we can sleep each night with no worrying over them.
I pray that in the upcoming months you find friendships that have been neglected.
And that your marriages thrive more than ever. 
That we find this new season is the best one yet..



Now, I know a little special someone who leaves for AFRICA for a year this coming wkend. 
I am going to have a sad 18 year old fella as he says goodbye to his sweet girlfriend. I admire and look up to her momma, and so I ask that yall agree with us in prayer for this person and her precious momma and family. That she has safe travels, and has the time of her life. And that she comes back in a year with lots to share. 
We are super proud of you Sarah. You will be missed greatly!

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