Summer 2014..

Most nights when I lay in bed I start thinking about different topics for my blog. I swear one day I am going to keep a pen and paper by my bed so I can write those things down, because once I wake up I cannot remember those topics, and there were some really good ones too! I think..

So unfortunately I have nothing brilliant to share with you all.

But here just a quick update on life..

Jazz and Kear in Georgetown

Summer is going, nothing exciting after our trip to Georgetown. Our fellas went to a basketball camp and we decided it being their Senior year to go up and watch the last couple of days. SO we loaded up the blue beast and Trav, me, Jazz and Kear enjoyed the drive there. We watched lots and lots of games for two days. They played against bigger schools, and because our posts were at 7 on 7 games we got beat, but not badly. So needless to say, I am super excited about our basketball season this year, I think it’s going to be a group of talented young men.

My Life Time Friend Paula

I got to join my sweet and amazing life time friends Paula and Mike for a dinner before Paula left me to go to Missouri again. Met both of these people when I started working at my job 11 years ago, and even though we have not worked at the same place we have kept a strong friendship over the years. And I have to say I am Thankful that God brought those people in my life and love them both to the moon and back. I miss my Paula but I am so happy for her what God is doing in her life..

All American Cheerleaders

My Jazz had cheer camp already, and if you follow me on FB you know she got All American Cheerleader, which means she gets to go be in the parade in Houston on Thanksgiving. We are so proud of her hard work, and I look forward to watching her cheer this year,. AND already praying her bases do not drop her this year! Congrats to all the young ladies who made All American this year!

And now for my final thoughts.. I know some people think I am silly.. 

But I am in denial about all this Senior stuff. I am excited, really I am. I look forward to my itty bitty boys to go to college and to go out in the real world and experience life, and see all that God has in store for them.

How I will always see my Boys

But gah!! Every time this momma thinks about them leaving, them not being here at home with me. Them making me laugh, the talks we have over dinner. Just the joy their presence brings me each day.  I start tearing up. And my stomach gets kind of nauseated. It’s really ridiculous. And I know this already. But someone please tell my heart and mind to get over it!

Cam and Aaron ready for Senior Year

So all that to warn you, if and when you ask or have asked me if it’s the boys senior year, or if I am going to miss them. Just know there will be tears.. 

And by this time next year, there will be the ugly cry. 

You know the one with snot and all that fun stuff. 

Mommy Instinct or Fear

At the age of 18, after having twin babies I was forced to get a driver’s license.  I did not want to drive.. I have the greatest fear of car accidents.. 

I dreaded my kids getting behind the wheel. 

Never myself have I had an accident.  (knock on wood)

When it was time to teach Ciera to drive, Travis started it, but his way of teaching was not good for her or him, so I had to do it. Since she has started driving she has hit a couple of deer, rear ended a car, and got hit by a drunk driver. Those phone calls will forever be in my head, and my heart skips a beat each time I think of the phone calls.  So needless to say, I was not eager to get my boys their license like all their friends when they turned 16. I made my points about being responsible first. When one of the boys showed more interest in getting started we did all the paperwork and started the process. With me being around the kids more I started teaching him to drive. I was very proud of how safe he was, how he paid attention to detail, and little by little he did more and more driving. I was strict, probably too strict about who he drove, where he drove, and what time he drove. But I just listen to my mommy instinct (Holy Spirit) and went with it.

But, I started to doubt that I was mixing up my fear with the mommy instinct, and would talk myself out of stuff. And on the wkend that I did not listen to my mommy instinct and thought I was just being fearful I got the dreaded phone call that he wrecked his car. This momma freaked out, and we could not get to him fast enough. His little car was totaled. If you see it you would think it is still drive-able, but he literally ripped the bottom of his car off. When you see where he went off the road, and hit a tree and then a little bit ahead you see the big embankment that he could have gone down, it makes me vomit in my mouth a little. BUT, Not one scratch on his body..

I know God was there, I know he was being watched, I know it could have been worse. I am oh so thankful for answered prayers..

Than the next wk my baby ended up in the ER because she could not breathe very well, they gave her so many medicines and breathing treatments, and after 6 hours of non- stop coughing we were laid up in the bed, and she was crying, and I was crying from exhaustion and seeing my baby miserable. And I told her that God hears our cries and our prayers and he would answer us. 15 minutes later we were released..

I hate to admit I spent a few days wallowing in self pity,I was mad, confused and I struggled in my faith walk because my babies were being attacked. 

 And besides my momma and dad, and a couple of friends, I felt like no one reached out to us. Here we are with lots of family, friends and part of a church home, and besides fb post, not one call to us that said hey we are thinking of you, are you ok, do you need anything, nothing.. sigh

I blame social media.

We all peek into each other’s lives, and leave comments and we feel we did our deed.

I am over myself now. My kids are all healthy and enjoying their summer. I am over my crud and back at work. And if anything I am going to be better at reaching out. I am going to quit relying on fb to check on my family and friends. I feel this is what I can take from my May Experience. 

I don't have life all figured out, and I know I want to be better in all areas. But one thing for sure is I am going to listen to my mommy instinct. 

Prom, Flu and the Tummy Bug..

Prom, Flu and the Tummy Bug.. 

Yes all in two weeks and my bank acct really showed it. But this momma is oh so thankful my baby girl is better, after missing one week of school and testing positive for not one but two types of flu had her pretty sick, and as most of you moms know when your babies are sick there is no sleeping.

It has been quite the emotional couple of weeks, and at one point I remember being in  front of the potty and asking (begging, pleading) to God for more strength and just to be able to sleep..

During my time recovering from the tummy bug I started watching Netflix (courtesy of Ciera and Vijay) and I came across season one of Army wives. I have watched all of them before and watching them again was still pure greatness. I was already emotional from just being tired, and looking at the Boys prom pictures so any kind of good bye on Army wives had me bawling. When the boys got home from school Cameron started watching it with me (don’t tell his friends) and at one point there was a graduation ceremony and he saw that I was tearing up and he said

 “Gosh mom I can already see how you are going to be when we graduate and leave for college, what are you going to do when we leave?”

Yes start the tears here.. Thanks Son!

Cameron took a selfie on my phone

Don’t get me wrong..

I am so proud and excited about my boys’ future, I am proud of all their accomplishments; I am overwhelmed with joy in every single thing they do. And yes I am gonna be a mess when it all goes down. But I don’t dread it. Not one bit.

After all We are having a blast!

Prom went perfectly..

We had the privilege in helping decorate where Prom was being held. It came out so nice and I was so excited for all the Juniors and Seniors to see it.

I kept it together, had already seen the boys in their tuxes I was so proud and doing so good. 

But when they posed for their first picture at my house with Aaron’s girlfriend it hit me. I had to dab my eyes and bite my lip to keep it in control. 

They looked so dang handsome, so grown, where did these nice looking young men come from? 

They were all such good sports and we met at the picture place, and they all five posed for me and smiled and had a good time without complaining. And we took part of the red carpet event where the parents got to be the paparazzi, Aaron put on a good show, took several poses for us. Made us all laugh.

Best part of the night.. Having Aaron, Cameron and Kear bust into my room when they got back and laughing and telling us all about how amazing their night was.

That right there is making memories that will last a lifetime for this momma..

P.S. Just wanted to send a shout out to the ones who called, texted and left bananas, sprite and chocolate on my front door during our time of need. God has put some amazing people in our family’s life. And for that I am grateful.

Our Little One...

My Lil Buddy

We have a little one in the house again..

We have the privilege of helping Ci’s lovely and beautiful boyfriend out as they work and Ci goes to school full time.

So the ones who know me well must know how ecstatic I must be..

Not just me but my hubby and  teenagers too.

Within the last couple of wks., we have spent more time outside.

We have dusted off the swing set, cleaned up the yard, and have spent a couple of evenings just sitting outside and enjoying the nice big piece of land that we have. 

We forgot what it is like to have a little one that gets excited about everything! 

How she is thankful for everything, and cheers us on. How she yells our names as she walks in our door ready to greet us and let us know she is there. She brings such joy and more laughter to our home.

We now see and hear every choochoo train that goes by, and took for granted the beauty of living in the country. I now notice the pretty flowers (weeds), Cows,  Horsies, and the Acorn (aka Long Horns) that are along the drive home. 

I have been reminded how to have patience each morning and night as she has to hug and kiss everyone before bed and when we leave for work each day, yes everyone including all the animals in the house.  

She is 2 years old and has more compassion and the biggest heart than most adults I know. 

This little one has helped heal this bitter heart, and I know this is giving me just a small taste of what is to come..

 It is making the upcoming prom for my Boys more doable, and the fact that my babies are going to be Seniors and an 8^th grader.  YIKES!!

My Precious Family

It is helping me to open my eyes and get excited for what God is doing and has planned for their lives instead of dreading it and wishing time will slow down..

And for that, I am oh so grateful..

Life in HammettVille

Last night as I was losing feeling in my fingers and kept wiping my nose from drip age because it was so darn cold, I kept going back and forth in my head which season I disliked the most Track Season or Cross Country Season.. Don’t get me wrong, I love love love watching my kids run, but gosh it is a long day and absolutely miserable if it is too hot or too cold.. But I can gripe as much as I want, I still will be there cheering them on..

After my rant on fb the other day about boys being boring for prom, I am happy to say that not only is my Cameron going with a date, but they agreed to take pictures where I wanted.. whoohoo!

I am getting a sweet taste of what it will be like to have grandchildren..

 And one thing is I am losing my desire to have more children of my own, because this Nana thing is so much sweeter.. Heehee

Trav is loving his new job, it is amazing how much a person’s entire outlook and attitude on life changes when he is working somewhere that brings him joy. No more long drive to DFW in traffic, and no more on call 24 hours a day and getting those 2 am phone calls because his co-workers were clueless on how to do trouble shoot on their own..

My boys are 17.. Let me say that again.. My boys are 17!!!! Nope I still cringe when I say that out loud.. sigh

My baby girl made the Cheer leading Squad for 8^th grade. We are so proud of her.. Cookie Dough sales coming soon.

Had some blood test and MRI on my cabeza, good news is there were no blockages or tumors..

Bad news is I have migraines more frequently and no known cause.. Boo

We bought a Jetta for those boys of ours. It reminds me of how nervous I used to be when Ciera started driving on her own.. We gave it to them the day before their birthday. We surprised them after the track meet, it was so exciting and I was so emotional. Have to say that Jazz and I have too much room in the SUV, so I am thinking a Audi Convertible in our near future.

Trav and I have been using the snow ball thingie on paying off debt. I am happy to say that in the last 5 months we have paid off 4 major bills. Woot Woot

Did I mention my twin fellas turned 17?! We decided no party this year since we had the big bang for the 16^th birthday. But what was supposed to be having a couple of friends turned into having a house full.. Which brought me pure joy that the boys have some good friends like that. Making memories that will last a life time..

My Passion??

My mind seems to wander a lot more lately since I have gotten off my numbing meds.

Life is constantly playing in my mind.

I overthink everything. Just ask my hubby and kids.

This last couple of weeks my mind seems to be over thinking the passion people have for certain things in life.

 I wonder why I don’t have that passion for certain things like others. For instance people who want to be Missionaries. A friend of mine is going to move her family to the other side of the world. And they are so excited and passionate about it. I personally don’t get it. But I saw it coming. The love for those Nepal kids was in her eyes the moment I saw her on her trip and especially after her trip. I admire that kind of passion. You Go Girl! We will be praying for you and your lovely family!!

Then there are people who are passionate about working out and eating healthy, yes not anywhere close to being Missionaries, but Gosh it takes dedication to do that every single day of your life. They post about it on fb, about working out, about the things they eat. I read about it as I am sipping my Coke and munching on my M&M’s.

Just does not give me the desire to jump up and get on a tread mill..

I know that God puts things on your heart, I know that I have desires to do so many things, but I found myself wondering where in the heck is my passion for “That Something..”!!!

I mean I am a wife and momma, that is what I do. I drive my hubby and kids crazy by over doing it.

By taking care of all those details and wanting everything just right. I am told I expect too much from my kids. I feel bad that others actually think that. But I feel my “job” as a mom is to prepare my kids for “Real Life”.. I don’t want them to leave my house absolutely clueless on how to do certain things. I have babied them in some areas, but I think I keep it pretty healthy. My boys are Juniors this year. When they go to college, you better dang well guarantee that they will know how to take care of themselves and their dorms. They can cook, clean, do laundry etc. And yes, we expect high grades, I know they are capable of being the best.  I feel as long as they know momma is expecting it, then they will always work hard at giving it to me. And so far it has worked.

They all know that half way don’t cut it. They won’t need to depend on anyone for any of those things, and that makes me proud.

Last night, I was pondering that..

I asked God “Is that it? Being a mom and wife is what my passion is?”

Then I woke up this morning, and all that was on my mind and in my heart was babies.. 

For those that know me, know I love me some babies, and you know I get to help with all the nurseries at church. And it occurred to me, why in the world did I doubt that I had a passion for something.? 

 I love what I do at church, I love being able to minister and to love on those itty bitty people.

I love being able to give the mommas at church peace of mind that their babies will be cared for. 

  I love giving my friends on the wkends or during the wk on occasion some alone time when I babysit for them. 

 I do it for my sis in law too. It’s just what I do..

My hubby and kids give me a hard time about this. But you know, it’s my passion.  I am proud of it. 

And I am thankful that God has given it to me..

So I may not be a Missionary, I may not be MS Fitness Queen, but we all are different, and God created us that way. 

My kids may call me the creepy baby lady.. 

But, you can just call me “The Baby Queen”..  HeeHee

P.S. Sorry some pictures are side ways, could not figure out how to turn them around..