I am a female.. I over think everything.. My mind is going non stop all the time.. Usually I can get over myself, and move on to think of something new.. But lately, my mind and heart is staying on one particular thing. A Baby! I want a baby.. The thought sends my husband running for the hills. He already made it very clear, that if I “get” another baby, he is filing for divorce. How RUDE!! Of course there are babies around me every where.. From my sweet friend who has Baby Gracie, to my handsome little nephew Gabe, and let’s not forget that I actually have the honor of playing with all the little bitty people in the church nursery. You would think between all of them, I would get my baby fix. But it is not working.
I STILL want to adopt an infant.
* (Please Excuse the following Rant for a minute)
Had a conversation with some of my friends the other day about this. Talking about how hard and expensive it is to adopt babies, toddlers and children. But yet there are so many precious babies out there that are being neglected, and have never experienced what real love for them should be. They are living in Foster Homes, or Orphanage, or even worse, living with their parent who only has them to get that monthly paycheck. These precious little people being mistreated, and harmed, and killed. (Side note: NO I don’t think all foster homes or orphanages are horrible) And we wonder why kids grow up to be insecure and hateful. When all they really need is to be loved. I am not questioning God; I know he loves all the precious little people. But, I know so many couples, who have been married for years, and have a nice home, and have been trying for years to have a baby, but cant.. Yet, there are many couples or single ladies, who don’t even want a baby, and get PG, and than get rid of it like nothing. Like it was an inconvenience.. It is something I cannot wrap my mind around..
Back to me…
So anyways, I have asked God to show me, why my heart and mind is on this baby thing lately. And it all became clear.. Besides the fact that I just LOVE babies.
In less than 10 days my handsome twin babies are going to be 15 years old..In 3 months they will be going on their first missions trip to CANADA! In a matter of a year, they will be driving, dating, and spending less time at home. In less than 3 years they are going to graduate from High School, and go off to college! A part of me is super excited to see them grow, and to see how God will use them.
But than a part of me, is screaming NOOOOOO!!
Someone push pause, this is happening way too soon.!! I sware it was just last month, that we went to Ciera’s open house in 2nd grade with my babies in their stroller.
Or was it yesterday that we were doing the happy dance cause they went peepee in the potty!? Oh how I love being a mommy. And oh how my heart aches, to know that one day my house will be quiet. There will be no “MOM, I am hungry!” or “MOM, the boys peed on the toilet seat!” or “MOM, tell Cam to let me play the X Box too!”.. No more late night basketball, baseball/softball games, no cross country meets, or track meets to freeze at. No more half time shows to watch the cheerleading.
Oh Sweet Jesus! What will I do with myself?!
