Just a Follow Up..

Just a follow up from my passed post about my boys. They of course made it to Canada, and I am told are having the time of their life. I heard that Sunday they got to have lunch with 150+ homeless people. And this week they are helping put together a Kids Camp for the week. Than this morning I got a sweet message that told me how great they were doing, and how they were stepping outside their comfort zones, and praying for others and just ministering to the ones around them. Of course this had me in tears, I am so super proud of my boys, and I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt this is where God wants them right now. But of course I have wasted the last 5 days or so, feeling sorry for myself and throwing myself a big pity party. I laugh now, because my 15 year old fellas are making me look pretty pathetic. I have spent most of the time of course just praying.. Praying for their safety mostly. Amongst other things. My husband has been very patient and loving to me, he knows I am struggling. He has told me this is not healthy behavior. Of course this just makes me angry and I want to punch him and anyone else in the face for trying to tell me how I should be acting. But, I am sooo wrong for that. And I know that. I think when I sit back and look at what the root problem is here, it goes to the fact that I fear and dread the day that my kids will be moved out and on their own. I don’t know life without my kids. Remember I was the 17 year old pregnant girl who moved from my momma’s house straight to living with my hubby. Who already had a kiddo, so we have never been alone. I sit in my living room, and see this strange man in my house, and realize oh my gosh it will be just us in a few years! Lol I know that sounds horrible, and I love my husband to the moon and back. But, it is just a bitter sweet reminder how much many marriages are neglected because we live our lives about the kids.. Looks like God is trying to show me something. And I cannot ignore it anymore. This will be exciting..

On another note, I caught up on some blogs that I follow. And can a person be dreading, but yet know that this is going to be oh so good for me?? My sweet friend, Rachel Taylor at just another day in Paradise http://www.tayloredforthewise.com
a fellow blogger, is starting a series on insecurity. Something that I have dealt with my entire 32 years. I encourage you to follow her blog. I think we could all use a good read and some tips on how to get over ourselves..

I am a Boob Bag...

Let the tears begin.. I am such a big boob bag..
Here I was bragging about myself about how much peace I have about my 15 year old fellas going on this trip to Canada for almost 2 wks. And than yesterday as I was having them try on their nice dress shirts for church and they were freaking out that they would not be able to roll up their sleeves on their own, and Jazzy girl laughing at them asking how the heck they were going to make it without me for two weeks, and us all laughing out loud about it..
Than this morning on the way to work I had a talk with God, and ohhh the tears started falling..
I am now thinking what in the world was I thinking.. !!!

These fellas are too little to go by themselves!!

I can’t send my precious itty bitty baby boys across the world to another country for 6 months (ok 13 days) all by themselves..
I explained to God, this was a mistake, that the money that was given to the boys must have been meant for some other set of twins. So yeah everything only seems to have lined up and fallen into place, but looks can be deceiving RIGHT?! But nope, he has reassured me that this is what he wants for them. That my fellas are following the big plans that HE has for them. And I know that God is going to use my fellas to minister to people all over the world, to show how a life with him is the only way to live. So, yes I will still be a big boob bag, I will cry for the next couple of days.. But, I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do.. And that my fellas will be just fine, and will come back with some amazing stories to tell.
So, again blog followers, pray for my fellas and the rest of the youth group and staff that is going to Canada.. For protection, wisdom courage, and for them to go out there and make Jesus famous..

Ok, so these are the fellas that old enough to go..

Oh, by the way, I decided that short sleeve dress shirts will be best for my fellas, yep Mommy has to make this as easy as possible.. =0)

Eric...

This little fella was my first nephew to come into my life when I was a freshman in high school. He was my little buddy, and he was spoiled rotten by myself and many others. I had the honor of babysitting him when he was little. He was the one who could not pronounce Amanda so he called me “Nana” which is what stuck and now all my nephews and nieces on my side of the family still call me that.

I have enjoyed watching him grow up. I have tried my best to be one of his biggest fans and watch his soccer, basketball, some baseball and football games. Even got to be there when he played his first football game his 7th grade year, screamed when he made that amazing touch down, and cried when the next play he got squished by the big fella and broke his arm. I swear this kid just has natural talent to be the best at whatever he tries at. He is a couple of years older than my twin fellas, so the bond and friendship that these 3 guys have is always nice, my boys look up to their cousin, and helped make going to high school an easy transition. 

This wkend my brother and sis in law gave him a going away party as he has joined the National Guard. He leaves for Boot Camp this week and will be gone all summer. I cannot even imagine what his momma is feeling right now. I know that I am so proud but so sad that he will be gone for so long. And so nervous for him. But I know that God has big plans for Eric, and that he will do just fine. So blog followers, I ask yall to lift Eric in your prayers for protection, strength and courage. And also my older brother and sis in law for peace. Now, just in case that Eric does read this blog. 

Junior Prom



The Cake Trav and I bought for his party.

Dear Eric, I cannot believe how fast you have grown up, and now you are doing this. It has been a pleasure to be part of your life, and looking forward to watching you your senior year in high school. So you come back healthy and stronger than ever!  We are so super proud of you, and we love you to the moon and back. We are cheering you on, and as always, are here for you if you need anything. Take care of yourself, be good and stay away from those naughty girls. Lol
Love always

Nana

Softball & Venting...

We love softball season! We love it so much that we took this team

To the Denton Tourney, and we got 9th place out of 16 teams that went to play.

We make it a full weekend, we pack the familia up and we book a hotel. The last time we were out of the tournament by Saturday at noon, this time we made it to Sunday at noon. Which was a pretty great deal. And I got to hold this precious baby girl while we sat in the shade for nap time.

It always amazes me the support group that these kids have rooting for them in the Texas heat. Grandparents and older siblings, uncles, and aunts and I saw other parents from the other team in Boyd coming to watch the games when their kid was not even playing. That always ministers to my heart, and I hope they all know how much it means to those kiddos too. So pat yourself on the back if you fall into that category.
Jasmine and another girl pitched for our team, but the other girl was on fire and she did most of the pitching in this tournament, kudos to “V” for all those strikes she pitched. We are all so proud of each of these girls for playing so hard. Pitching, batting ( a couple of home runs), fielding, chanting are all a big part of each game and each win. I think this was the best season yet so far!
It is a great feeling to get along with all the parents, and to see these parents support the coaches that we have.

Most of all it was amazing to see Trav coaching his baby girl again. I know he missed it.

Small things like that so many people take for granted, some are clueless how blessed they are to be part of something like this.
And some like to cause drama, and throw fits, and behave in childish ways, but refuse to act like a grown up and have communication to fix certain issues.
Instead they want to hurt the innocent little people.

You see, I have been given the opportunity to be come offended, and to throw a fit and cause a scene.
And to be honest, I want to really bad, because they are messing with my baby girl.
But, because I have grown up just a little, I am going to blog about it, and than let it go. And really thank these people, for helping me to see who I can rely on, and who is willing to stand up for me and my family. So thank you! And no worries, my Jazzy girl still loves softball, and is looking forward to fall ball, and I will sign her up and again for spring ball and get her ready for the Denton Tourney, because her daddy and I are her number one fans. And she is still smiling..

No Quitters Allowed

As parents, one of the things we have tried to instill in raising our children is NO Quitting Allowed!

From the time the boys signed up for Soccer at the age of 3, till the time they were 14 playing in the last years of our BYA we said “Once you sign up, You finish the season, You don’t get to skip practices or games, even when something fun has come up, cause you are part of a team. And you can not and will not let your team down.” Now trust me, there were many times between the 3 kiddos, that I was fed up or tired of certain situations, that quitting seemed like the best and easiest thing to do, but Trav and I would have a nice, loving discussion (HEEHEE) and agree that if we let them quit now, it will show the kids that when things or people, coaches, team mates get tough or annoying, that they can just quit. This carries on to their daily life. In School, relationships, sports, jobs etc… And we don’t want our kiddos to struggle with any of those things.
The great thing is my fellas are 15 now, and their freshmen year is almost over. And because Trav and I have pushed them to be their best, to give it 110% and never to quit even if they were not very good, they finally have that confidence to be pretty decent in all they do. From making straight A’s to running Cross Country and Track on the Varsity team, and playing basketball. They know that hard work and dedication pays off.

But, have you ever heard the saying, of practice what you preach?! Yeah, I don’t like that saying at all.


If you follow me on Facebook, than you have heard me whining about gaining some weight back.


My sweet innocent daughter informed me recently that my tummy was getting big again, and that I need to get back to working out and counting points.


You see I quit being good and working hard. I know what it takes to lose the weight and keep it off. I know how hard I worked for it. But, once I did not see the pds coming off as easy as they were, and once I could come up with an excuse of why I cant work out alone, I just said “Oh well, I quit!”
Not even thinking of the example I was showing my kids.

Makes me stop and think, if I quit now, and go back into my bad habits, than what right do I really have to tell my kids, that once they stopped seeing improvement they too can quit what they have worked so hard to accomplish this far. No, being a parent does not make you exempt from being a quitter.
Just a little something to share with my fellow parents..

See ya at the track!

Dear Children

Dear Children...
I would like to give you written notice on Reminders, Warnings and Promises of the things I will be doing or have done.

Reminders!
 I will always be the mom with the camera in my hand making you smile and pose, so just suck it up, and get it over with.


 Yes, I love babies. They love me back. If I have a goofy smile, it is because I just saw a baby. And NO this does not make me creepy.


 I don’t care if you are 21 and grown and taller than me, this 5’3 lady can still bend you over my knee. Or pinch you under the arm.


 You can never convince me that you are not the best at something. So, if you don’t want me to go off on you, than don’t put yourself down in front of me.


 When someone is being ugly to you, and you are telling me all about it, I may be smiling and understanding on the outside, but trust me the momma bear on the inside is ready to bring out the claws.


 Yes, you have favor with me, yes I think you are perfect and the most prettiest and handsome kids ever, I have no idea what everyone else’s problem is that don’t see it too.

Warnings!

 See first thru six bullets in Reminders, that will never change..

 Yes, I will be the annoying mom that attends all your games and ceremonies with my camera.. AND will be that grandma that goes to every sporting event, recital and award ceremony with my camera.


 Yes, I can be the mother in law from hell to your spouse, But as long as you are happy, and are loved, I promise to be the best mother in law ever.


 Yes, I will babysit your children, I won’t have to go far since I will be living with you. (lol)


 Yes, I will still make Sunday dinner for you to come over and visit me,


 You can never be too old to make me a home made card. EVER!


 I love the Holidays, but I will never make you feel stressed out or left out, if you cannot see me on that day.


 Honesty is my Best Policy

Promises!
 I am MOM and I love you! That will never change.


 My door and ear is always open.


 Honesty is my Best Policy..


 I will always be your biggest fan and cheerleader!

Love Always
Mom

Dearest Ciera...

Dearest My Ciera Nichole...
As Mother’s day is around the corner, I can’t help but think of the last 16 years as being your mom.
It has been a while that I don’t see you as that scrawny, 6 year old, clingy, chatty little girl.

We had to learn together how to make this crazy thing we call life work. But, because we both had big hearts and lots of love we made it work.

I watched you grow from being the only child, to being over taken with twin baby bubbas, that you adored and could not get enough of. You let them crawl all over you, and sneak into your bed in the middle of the night, and never complained. I admit, I was worried when we found out we were having Jazzy, cause I did not want you to not like her. But was tickled when you fell madly in love with her, and did not complain too much when she wanted to be under your feet 24/7. The fact that she acts and looks just like you makes me laugh. It’s like I am getting to raise you all over again. LORD HELP ME!!!

Than came the teen years and high school. Those were brutal, but I sure enjoyed watching you cheer and dance on those Friday Nights, and kind of enjoyed watching you grow to realize what friendship and boys were all about.

Ohhh, but I have to admit the years after high school were the ones that I learned that being on my knees praying, crying and begging God to be with you all the time were tough times. I knew you had to spread your wings and fly, I knew you had to be on your own, and date, and party, and get heart broken a few times. Yes, I butted in a few times, to warn you of certain people and their intention, and there were a couple of “I told you so” moments, but I knew that watching you Go thru tough times would be the only way for you to learn from your own mistakes and the ones of the people you cared about. So many sleepless nights of wondering if you were ok, if you were going to make it. Those times, were brutal on your momma’s heart.


But Ciera, look at you now.. I was jumping for joy when you came back home and decided it was time for college. And now you made it thru your first class, and you passed with flying colors. While working a full time job. I am just so proud of you..

And I will even admit that this fella who has stole your heart, and put that twinkle back in your eyes, has made me realize that maybe you have a clue of what you want in life.

I know that I have not been perfect. I know that I have been tough on you, and have pushed you.


But, I see you now, and it is nice to see that you finally believe in yourself, and you finally see that you deserve only the best. And you deserve to be happy and loved.


Your dad and I have always known what you were capable of. We always believed in you. And yes many days of being grounded and us showing frustration was part of that.


But, yesterday when you were my date to the boys’ banquet. And hearing you lecture your brothers, and going off on them about how they treat me.


Seeing you about to jump out of your seat to smack Aaron, when he was acting like he was raising his voice at me.
That moment right there melted my heart..

Thank you Ciera, for 16 wonderful years of being my daughter.


I love you more than you could even imagine..


Now, about those grandbabies…. =0)

Love Always
   Mom