Just a Follow Up..

Just a follow up from my passed post about my boys. They of course made it to Canada, and I am told are having the time of their life. I heard that Sunday they got to have lunch with 150+ homeless people. And this week they are helping put together a Kids Camp for the week. Than this morning I got a sweet message that told me how great they were doing, and how they were stepping outside their comfort zones, and praying for others and just ministering to the ones around them. Of course this had me in tears, I am so super proud of my boys, and I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt this is where God wants them right now. But of course I have wasted the last 5 days or so, feeling sorry for myself and throwing myself a big pity party. I laugh now, because my 15 year old fellas are making me look pretty pathetic. I have spent most of the time of course just praying.. Praying for their safety mostly. Amongst other things. My husband has been very patient and loving to me, he knows I am struggling. He has told me this is not healthy behavior. Of course this just makes me angry and I want to punch him and anyone else in the face for trying to tell me how I should be acting. But, I am sooo wrong for that. And I know that. I think when I sit back and look at what the root problem is here, it goes to the fact that I fear and dread the day that my kids will be moved out and on their own. I don’t know life without my kids. Remember I was the 17 year old pregnant girl who moved from my momma’s house straight to living with my hubby. Who already had a kiddo, so we have never been alone. I sit in my living room, and see this strange man in my house, and realize oh my gosh it will be just us in a few years! Lol I know that sounds horrible, and I love my husband to the moon and back. But, it is just a bitter sweet reminder how much many marriages are neglected because we live our lives about the kids.. Looks like God is trying to show me something. And I cannot ignore it anymore. This will be exciting..

On another note, I caught up on some blogs that I follow. And can a person be dreading, but yet know that this is going to be oh so good for me?? My sweet friend, Rachel Taylor at just another day in Paradise http://www.tayloredforthewise.com
a fellow blogger, is starting a series on insecurity. Something that I have dealt with my entire 32 years. I encourage you to follow her blog. I think we could all use a good read and some tips on how to get over ourselves..