Where Did All The Love Go?!

It seems to get pretty bad around the Holidays, when it is supposed to be full of Joy, Laughter, Blessings,.. People have chosen to be down right depressed, sad, and just plain ole mean.

My kiddos, in 2008

For the last 16 years Trav and I always put our Christmas tree up on Thanksgiving or the day after. Trav is a big kid when it comes to Christmas time. I am talking, my living room looks like Christmas threw up! All the dancing and singing bears and snow men. He even puts together a small town, with a ferris wheel, and little people, and fiber optic houses. The kids love Christmas time, cause they are use to all the loudness! And let's not forget the "ornament" for the year. Trav's sweet sister Teresa bought us our first cookie dough Christmas ornament our first year together. And she may not know this, but now it has become a tradition for us. We go each year to the mall and have one made. Of course my favorite part, is Christmas cards! I LOVE doing Christmas cards, and my goal is to get them mailed out by Thanksgiving. Which by the way "Toot, Toot" I met my goal.

Jazzy a couple of years ago..

But, for some reason, we have not been in the "mood" to do anything. It is already December the 8th, and we don't have the Christmas tree up yet. No ornament either! But, not cause we are sad or depressed, or that we don't have the money to give the kids a good Christmas. We honestly don't have a clue what the deal is. Maybe we are just tired, we both got that nasty crud going around, and still recovering. We are also just really busy, going all the time. With church, jobs, basketball etc..We already did the shopping part. It seems, that maybe Trav and I need to quit making excuses, and put that tree up, bring out all the loudness, maybe just maybe it will help our "mood"! If nothing else, it will make our children happy.

Thanksgiving, me with my precious daughters.

Which brings me to my "topic". I have heard a lot of messages lately, and it seems that I am being taught a few things. About how we act, and how "we" portray the Love that our God has for us. Umm, have you watched the news?! Can you say black Friday?! Crazy! People are being down right foolish to save a few bucks! I personally do not participate in the crazy hours of this day, I go around 10am, when all the crazy people are back at home sleeping. But I still saw my share of rude people, and really this year I see people who look like that lost all hope. Now, of course me being the loving and out going person I am (yes sarcasm again). I stepped outside my bubble, and I smiled and made small talk with strangers! I complimented people's boots, and jewelry, hair style, I even talked to the check out person at wal-mart, who looked like she was about to go off at any minute. And I have to say, it was pretty rewarding to see just a small light of hope in their eyes. Like they were thinking, "hmm, there still are nice people who care". So, I challenge you faithful followers,. Get out there, smile, say hello, say Merry Christmas. Even if the person cut you off, or gave you bad service,. Be the better person, and spread the Love and Joy, we need to get out there and make Jesus Famous!

WISHING YOU A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS

FROM MY FAMILY TO YOURS!

When Is Enough, Really Enough?!

Today I find myself asking..”When is enough really enough..? “


I have been very fortunate and blessed in my life, to not have to deal with losing my loved ones. I have all my grandparents and parents. I have been close to my mom’s side of the family all my life. Growing up, we lived with my grandparents off and on thru out the years. When I first got married, my grandparents were my neighbors for about 5 years. My kids and I had the privilege to walk next door to always find my grandparents sitting and watching TV, and always ready to feed us.

If you know my grandpa, which everyone does. You know him as the over 6ft tall, loud, boisterous, always laughing, with the big belly and cowboy hat and boots. He knew no stranger. My gpa has been self employed most of his life, driving and owning his own dump trucks. I honestly remember making some good money as a teen, as we helped him pave and rake asphalt drive ways. What a beating that used to be. Just the smell of it made me nauseous. But, it was the “family” thing to do.
Over the years we all have had children, and to watch how my gpa loves all his great grandchildren is always so heart warming. He always gave them a dollar if they would give him a kiss and hug. He would get loud when they walk in the door to show how excited he was to see them. He has always been so good to all of them,.

About ten years ago, we got a big scare when my gpa had a heart attack. He ended up having a triple bypass surgery, and had to have a pace maker put in. It took him a while, but he eventually got back to living his normal life. Driving all over the place and being him self again. But around 4 years ago, he got sick and went into kidney failure. And needed to start dialysis. He had already made his mind up, that he was not going to do it. But the family all got together, and we told him we supported what he wanted to do, but we really wanted him to do dialysis and stay with us longer. The dr’s told us he would not make it to Christmas that year, but he went on dialysis and here we are almost 5 years later, and he is still with us.

So here we are, coming up on another Christmas, and the last couple of years my gpa has been a fighter, and trooper. Slowly we have watched him give up so many things he loved in life. From working and driving, and having to sale his place and live in assisted living areas and now a small apartment. Going to 3 hours of dialysis three times a wk. Dealing with having no energy to get out of bed on most days, and becoming a home body. Surely not the quality of life that he wants to live. But because he loves my grandmother and his family he sucked it up and did it each day.

This Thanksgiving he took a turn for the worse. He had been dealing with so much pain in his legs and feet, which he could not even walk. We were devastated to find out that he got gang green setting in, and now he has been in the hospital having surgery after surgery, he has lost his toes on one foot, and the doctor is trying to save the other one. I went up there last night to sit with my gma during the surgery. I was told that he looked bad, and that he was on morphine for all the pain he is in. But, when I walked into that room and saw him, my heart broke. That was NOT my gpa. This is NOT what my GPA would want to look and feel like. I did my best to keep it together and smile, and was thrilled to see that he recognized me and reached out for my hand, and told me he loved me. I kept it together when he was moaning from the pain he is in. But when I watched my grandmother, rub and kiss his head, and tell him for the 5th time that she could not take him home yet, I lost it.

Wow! Over 50 years of marriage right before my eyes, my grandmother is watching the love of her life, her best friend, the only man she has ever known, wither away to nothing. Some things I will never understand..

The surgery last night took over 3 hrs. We sat with my gma, and we talked, and tried to keep her from thinking too much, we talked about old times and we laughed,. I was so proud of my gma for being so strong, not once had she shed a tear. When, the dr called us back and told us that the surgery had not gone like he hoped, and told us the next couple of days all they could do is watch and see where to go from here. When he suggested that they have a family meeting this wk, to discuss how much more aggressive we wanted him to go. When he told us, that my gpa is very sick, and his heart his weak, she lost it. And oh how my heart ached for her.
Trav and I got her settled in her room for the night, and I held her and I prayed with her. I cried with her, and told her how much we all loved her, and that gpa has been thru so much already, and he is tired. And that he has been a trooper because he loves her so much, he has been fighting. But, that gpa would not be happy to live without his feet. She agreed, she knows what is coming.
So that brings me to my Title. When is Enough, really Enough?! We have been praying and praying for God to heal my gpa. But, when is it being selfish on our part to allow the doctors to continue to cut off his body parts, to take away a good quality of life away from him. When is it time to say, “Ok God, please take him home, peacefully, no more suffering”? Unfortunately, for my family, that time seems to be now..

Last Thankful Post.. "My Jazzy "

My Jazzy Girl..

 Heck when I say her name, I automatically smile.

Jasmine Victoria blessed me with her presence weighing in at 8lbs, the doctor took her 3 wks early, so we were expecting a 6 pd baby, but she was almost a toddler when they handed her to me. She weighed what my twins weighed together.

 Everyone who knows Jazzy, loves her. She walks around with a big smile on her face, she is tenderhearted, and is a mother hen for sure. Jazzy don’t get in much trouble. I can honestly say I can count how many spankings she has gotten on one hand, just cause letting her know she did something wrong will bring tears to her eyes, and she will spend days trying to make it up to you. I pray daily that she stays that way! Lol

She loves babies, she loves cleaning, and she loves to help. So much that some times she is annoying.

 She has her entire life planned out, she is going to try out on American Idol, and if she don’t make it big, than she is going to work at Dos Chilles, until she goes to college, where she is going to be an Orthodontist, than she will get married and have lots of babies, and she is going to have a big house, and I will have my own room so that I can stay and take care of her babies, while she works.

 The other three of our kiddos either have Trav’s personality, or they have mine. But Jasmine has a little of both of us. She is outgoing and friendly and pays much attention to detail like her daddy. But is emotional, feisty, and moody and a big people pleaser like her mommy..

My baby girl is growing up way too fast. Being the baby of our family, she always seems to enjoy the company of the older crowd. When we have company over, and there are girls younger than her, and girls that older than her, you will find her with the older girls. Doing hair and make up and texting on that phone. Complete opposite of Ciera when she was this age. She keeps her daddy and I very busy also. Jazz not only likes to sing ,and dance, but she loves cheerleading, she plays soft ball year round, and is actually the pitcher for her team, she also plays basketball. We are super proud of how well she does in every area of her life.

I will admit that she is spoiled by many. She is a big momma’s girl, and I love every minute of it. She is my little mini me, and you very rarely will see me, without her tagging along behind. I try to remember to cherish these days, cause I know in a few years, it won’t be so cool to hang out with mommy.

 Ohh Jasmine Victoria, I love you so very much, and am so thankful and blessed beyond measure to have you as my baby girl. Always remember that you are loved and precious in my eyes and heart. To always speak words that edify, to always lend a helping hand, to surround yourself with people who you can show what true love and friendship is. Be sensitive and obedient for what God has planned for you. I just know that with your spunky personality, confidence, and beautiful smile, that you are going to lead many to a lovely life with our Jesus.

Ewe.. Forgiveness..

Yes, I know this is supposed to be the month for just Thankful Posts.

But, I am in the mood to share.

The last month God has been stirring up some feelings in me, which honestly I tried to ignore. But, than our Pastor was confirming those things, than we had a guest speaker who also confirmed those things. So, instead of stomping my feet, and sticking my tongue out, and saying “I can’t hear you”!
I had to pray for strength to learn from this. To learn “how to even begin.”


Like my fello blogger Rachel Taylor says, I won’t tell all my dirty laundry.

But, let’s just say, that Christmas last year, my world fell apart. I acted a fool at our family get together, and hurt some people, one of those who has been apart of my every day life, and I have not spoken to him for almost a year. And oh, how I Miss him and his family like crazy. It is breath taking at times.

Around the same time, a very close  friend of mine, moved far away to another state, and she really struggled with being over there, and let’s just say, we all had no idea what the move would do to us, and we struggled with understanding how to be there for each other, and it got ugly quickly, and we all walked away, heart broken, and confused. She tried many times, to make amends, but I was not very kind and felt that I had plenty of reason to hold my grudge.
In my mind, I was protecting my heart. But in reality, I was acting like a child, telling her, that I could not forgive her.(sigh) Nope, not one of my proudest moments..

Than, a couple of  Sundays ago, my Wonderful Pastor taught, and I honestly don’t know the title; iit was something about the heart. But, what stuck out was something about that person that always gets offended, and walks away from the relationships. I get an elbow to my side from my sweet and amazing husband, and I look over and see my twins looking my direction, and I am like “Gee Thanks fellas! “ Can you feel the love?!

That evening, I was talking to God, and I told him, how I miss my family member, and how I just don’t understand how he won’t forgive me! And it was like it hit me square in the face. Basically asking me, how I want to be forgiven, but yet, I am not willing to forgive the people who have hurt me. Yep! Ouch!

I look back now, and I think about how many relationships I have slammed the door on, and cannot even remember why! How crazy is that?! AT the time, I felt it was bad enough to give up on a relationship, but now, it seems so small. Don't get me wrong, I know why a few of them ended. We all grow, we all change, and our goals in life go different directions. And there is nothing wrong with that. But, I am not proud to admit that some have ended, just because of my own selfishness. It seems it is way passed time to come off my high horse, and quit behaving like I am the greatest gift from God, and learn to love unconditionally. To love everyone, during the good times, but especially the bad times. I need to realize, that it is not always about me, and that I need to quit expecting so much from people. To just be thankful for everything!


So there you go! For some reason, I was supposed to share this with my followers. So let that sink in and marinate. And let’s start working on “us”..

Hope you enjoyed the "Random Pictures!"

Thankful Post "My Cameron Lee"

My Cameron Lee..

My baby boy, I know he is going to hate being called that one day, but I will do it as long as I can get away with it.  Cam is just 2 minutes younger than his brother, he is twin B. Weighing in at 4.5 lbs, and only spending 1 wk and 5 days in the hospital,. Again I fell madly in love with him, from the first time I held his little body.

Cameron has my personality, very quiet and laid back, and people watches. You won’t find him looking for the center of attention. Even though he is extremely smart, and catches on to things quickly, he won’t be raising his hand to be called on for the answer.

We find it amusing how different our twins are, Cameron has watched his brother always try and be the best at everything, but when Cameron finds his passion, and can beat Aaron, oh he loves to rub it is his face. Cameron don’t mind just getting by, he don’t have to be the best, just the fact that he gave it his all, makes him happy.

 VDO games and being on the computer and learning history is his love in life. If you showed up at our place, that is what you would find him doing. Trav and I call him our “Special Child” cause he needs just a little more push to get things done, a little more direction. I have told him, that he is not allowed to leave home, he said free rent sounds great to him! Since he was a toddler, this little boy is the one to always end up in the E.R. From two broken collar bones, broken arm, busted forehead, and a hammer to the top of his head, he keeps me busy! Cameron also has that horrible speak before you think syndrom. I think it is common in most Hammett males. LOL Even though he is my sweetheart, and would never hurt people on purpose, it always seems to come out wrong when he says something. Cam has a big heart, and is always thoughtful of other people, sometimes he just acts to dang grown for his age.

 Cam, I am so thankful to have you as my handsome son. What a honor to watch you grow into a fine young man, who loves Jesus, and has big plans for your future. Don’t forget about your momma, who always has your back, and who is always ready to protect you from that mean daddy of yours, when your big and famous! Always remember who you are and smile that gorgeous smile, and keep on keepin on. Love you buddy!