Another Guest Blogger

This momma is blown away that my children have the heart to share their true feelings and thoughts. Our oldest daughter felt lead to share after her little brother blogged this week. This is more personal, and I pray you have the heart to read this and not judge. And if anything keep her in your prayers.

                 You Deserve Happiness

                      By Ciera  

I'm not really one to make my life super public on social media, or to the world in general. I don't particularly like people knowing my dirty laundry and I certainly don't want people to know the negative bits and pieces of my life. That's not to say that I put on this fake persona, because believe me I've never been a fake person, but I do happen to leave out the embarrassing (I consider embarrassing) parts of my life. 

Today though, I'm letting y'all in on one of my dirty little secrets....  

For nearly 3 years I was in a physically abusive relationship. 

Not the kind where you go crazy on your man and start punching him in the face so he holds you down. 

No. 

A real abusive relationship. 

First let me make it clear that this man is not my most recent ex. 

This relationship was nearly 3 years ago and I'm just now speaking out about it. 

Why? Because I was embarrassed. Ashamed even. So disgusted with myself because I am a strong, independent badass woman and I never saw myself being in that situation. I was humiliated that I ever was. 

Was I right to feel that way? Absolutely not, but because I did I pushed all my loved ones away to the point that no one knew what was going on.

So instead of getting help, I just let it fester and get worse and worse for nearly 3 years. I'd hide my bruises from my parents and siblings with makeup and long sleeves. There are so many days that I'd call in to work because my ribs or my back would be so bruised I could barely move. 

But nobody knew any of that. 

Every time I tried to get out, he'd pull me back in. Literally. By my hair.

 I was told that he'd kill me, or he'd kill him self or he was going to kill my family. 

Looking back now, I feel completely stupid for believing he would do any of those things but when you're in that situation for so long you become so scared of that person that you believe they'll do anything. 

I eventually became his little robot and just sat there and looked pretty. It was never enough for him though, and I felt so alone. I thought to myself "this is your life now.

 Just do what he wants and you'll be fine" 

I wouldn't be fine though and I knew that. 

So one night after he had gotten wasted, we had the worst fight we'd ever had. 

I call it a fight because this time I fought back. I'd had enough and if he was going to throw punches so was I. He broke my phone so I couldn't call for help, threw my keys in the yard so I couldn't leave. He threw me, pushed me, and hit me. 

But I kept getting back up. I found my keys, drove around till I found a cop, and I took matters into my own hands. 

Please just imagine being my parents and getting that phone call at 3 am.

 Anyways, as you can imagine I pressed charges and put his a$$ in jail. 

Finally I was out... but mentally I wasn't.  

I'm still to this day fixing what he broke. 

He took my peace from me. 

He took my trust, my happiness, my tenderness. 

I couldn't function as a normal long term girlfriend to an amazing man bc I had been destroyed by another.

 I have put my family and loved ones through Hell because of that relationship. 

He made me mean. He made me hard... I have had to work through a lot of pride and a lot of emotions these last few years and I am finally at a good place with myself. I'm finally happy with myself and who I am as a person. 

I'm writing this not for anyone to feel sorry for me. 

I don't want sympathy, no need for it.

 I'm writing this because I know there is someone out there who will read this and it will give them the courage to leave. It will give them the power to stand up and walk away. 

If you're going through a similar situation I want you to know that you are not alone. 

You have people who love you and care about you and who will help you through this.

 You deserve the best, we all do. 

Please don't ever let anyone destroy who you are. Those people are toxic, you can't save them. 

Do not and I repeat DO NOT EVER let anyone steal your peace and your love for others. Find a friend, a family member. Hell find me! But most importantly find God. He will save your life, he will renew your peace and your happiness and you WILL find love. True love. And when you do find it, don't ruin it because another person made you feel like you don't deserve it. You do. 100 percent you do. 

Guest Blogger Time...

This momma was thrilled when my son emailed and asked if he could be a Guest Blogger.
This is some good stuff, and it is an honor to allow him to share his true heart..
 So fellow Blog Readers..
Enjoy...

Genuine and Creative Prayer

By Aaron

            I guess how I want to start off this blog is by explaining how I got to this point…. 

So, I was sitting in the shower and I was just sitting there thinking about how I can’t wait get home and celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. Then I laughed out loud (mind you I was sitting in the public shower alone laughing) as I remembered my favorite part of Thanksgiving is when my grandpa prays right before we all eat. You may be thinking, “wow this guy is kind of a jerk,” but before you judge me let me tell you why it’s funny. It’s funny because he prays as fast as Usain Bolt runs the 100-meter dash. What I’m saying is that if someone who wasn’t part of the family was there he/she would think that we were running an auction in the place. 

So, after I finished laughing, God spoke to me and asked me “what is funny about a man who is praying?” I kind of just awkwardly sat there and basically reevaluated my entire existence. Why was I laughing at a man who was genuinely praying to God; not caring about what others thought of his prayer. Then I thought “when was the last time I genuinely prayed?” I’m not talking about before I go to bed or before every meal, which if I’m completely honest I don’t do all the time as I should. I’m talking about a prayer one prays straight up because they want to. 

Like for example, I spend a lot of time playing video games (like an ungodly amount of time) what if I chose (important word is “chose”) to stop and just start spilling the beans to the lord. I am talking about a prayer that has no real order to it but has your whole heart put into it. I feel like these are the prayers that can change the world. Don’t think that I am saying all other type of prayers are irrelevant. 

Here is what I am saying, we have to stop praying to God as if it is a chore we do every single day at a specific time with specific words. At some point after doing that for a while it seems very robotic, and a far as I know God doesn’t want robots programmed to pray at 6:00 PM everyday right before they eat their hamburger helper. He wants human beings who pray genuine and creative prayers. Now some of you may tell me, “Listen dude, I don’t have a creative bone in my body.” Well to you I say that’s a load of crap! The Bible says that the lord created us all in his image. 

Now, that means we have all the qualities that God has, right? That’s exactly what that means!! 

So, if God the guy who created the whole universe with his very words says that we have the same qualities as him, I can say without a doubt in my mind that you are creative! 

This world needs people who will pray creative and genuine prayers straight from their heart. 

We need to be the Picassos and Van Goghs of prayers.

So, everything I just said there went through my mind as I sat still in the shower then I CHOSE to pray a prayer that was so genuine I felt as if God was sitting with me in that shower (I know… weird to say but this is my experience not yours). When I finished praying I finally understood what it is like for rappers to finish a concert. I was exhausted and couldn’t think of anything else to say. I can honestly say I put everything into that prayer it was the most genuine prayer I have ever prayed. I definitely plan on praying like this a lot more and I am excited to what adventures this takes me on. I hope that whoever reads this will learn from my spiritual shower time and change the way they pray.