At the age of 18, after having twin babies I was forced to
get a driver’s license. I did not want
to drive.. I have the greatest fear of car accidents..
I dreaded my kids
getting behind the wheel.
Never myself have I had an accident. (knock on wood)
When it was time to teach Ciera to drive, Travis started it,
but his way of teaching was not good for her or him, so I had to do it. Since
she has started driving she has hit a couple of deer, rear ended a car, and got
hit by a drunk driver. Those phone calls will forever be in my head, and my
heart skips a beat each time I think of the phone calls. So needless to say, I was not eager to get my
boys their license like all their friends when they turned 16. I made my points
about being responsible first. When one of the boys showed more interest in
getting started we did all the paperwork and started the process. With me being
around the kids more I started teaching him to drive. I was very proud of how
safe he was, how he paid attention to detail, and little by little he did more
and more driving. I was strict, probably too strict about who he drove, where
he drove, and what time he drove. But I just listen to my mommy instinct (Holy
Spirit) and went with it.
But, I started to doubt that I was mixing up my fear with
the mommy instinct, and would talk myself out of stuff. And on the wkend that I
did not listen to my mommy instinct and thought I was just being fearful I got
the dreaded phone call that he wrecked his car. This momma freaked out, and we
could not get to him fast enough. His little car was totaled. If you see it you
would think it is still drive-able, but he literally ripped the bottom of his
car off. When you see where he went off the road, and hit a tree and then a little
bit ahead you see the big embankment that he could have gone down, it makes me
vomit in my mouth a little. BUT, Not one scratch on his body..
I know God was there, I know he was being watched, I know it
could have been worse. I am oh so thankful for answered prayers..
Than the next wk my baby ended up in the ER because she
could not breathe very well, they gave her so many medicines and breathing
treatments, and after 6 hours of non- stop coughing we were laid up in the bed,
and she was crying, and I was crying from exhaustion and seeing my baby
miserable. And I told her that God hears our cries and our prayers and he would
answer us. 15 minutes later we were released..
I hate to admit I spent a few days wallowing in self pity,I was mad, confused and
I struggled in my faith walk because my babies were being attacked.
And besides
my momma and dad, and a couple of friends, I felt like no one reached out to
us. Here we are with lots of family, friends and part of a church home, and
besides fb post, not one call to us that said hey we are thinking of you, are
you ok, do you need anything, nothing.. sigh
I blame social media.
We all peek into each other’s lives, and leave comments and
we feel we did our deed.
I am over myself now. My kids are all healthy and enjoying
their summer. I am over my crud and back at work. And if anything I am going to
be better at reaching out. I am going to quit relying on fb to check on my
family and friends. I feel this is what I can take from my May Experience.
I don't have life all figured out, and I know I want to be better in all areas. But one thing for sure is I am going to listen to my mommy instinct.
