Standing Strong in Our Faith, Even When the Answer was No

Parent Appreciation Night for Seniors

Well, if you followed me on FB than you already know the outcome of Regional’s on Saturday.

Before Regional Meet

One of the toughest things of being a mom is watching your children not meet their goal. Or watching your child think he failed at something, that he thinks he was just not deserving. I watched my son beat his personal best time by 30 seconds. I watched him get 20^th place against the top runners in his region. And yet once he crossed the finish line he knew he did not make it. He broke down and found his dad at the finish line and just cried. He almost made his 46 year old father lose it too. That visual alone made this momma lose it. 

Cameron also beat his personal best, and was content with his effort. If anything he felt bad for his brother. He knew how much it meant to Aaron. Of course being the 20^th runner and knowing they took the top 17 runners did not help. We placed as a team for 5^th place, they took the top 4 teams to state. He was that close.

Aaron telling me they are in serious mode so no smiling

But what amazes me about my Twin Guys, is yes they were bummed and we were heartbroken. One more than the other.. But they quickly put their disappointed to the side and cheered on the two guys who did make it to State. We went to the awards ceremony, we cheered when their names were called, and they got to join them to Round rock for the State Meet.

Mr Nedrow and Mr West show support by attending

 The school held a send off where people lined the street and cheered them on as they headed to State. And Boyd School Board recognized them at the meeting. All this recognition and support was good for the team. Cross Country has always gone unnoticed. The dedication and hard work and the meets every Saturday was all heart for this group of guys. 

And the parents of the cross country team could not be more proud..

We were heartbroken...

Once the dust settled my son was really disappointed, he had prayed and prayed for his miracle. He stepped up for this team the last few years and prayed with them for every meet. He was a great team leader for them. He never wanted something so bad before. And when he did not get it, he of course was disappointed. He asked me why, why did his prayers not get answered. He said he gave it his all, he had faith and put his heart in it.

 Of course I am tears because the last thing I want to see is my son struggle in his faith walk. And I told him that sometimes the answer is “No”. But to really pray and think about the bigger picture here, for him to ask God to show him what it is he is missing thru this event in his life. 

Presley was sad too.. But she just wanted food and nap

A couple of days later, he came to me and told me that he knows what it was. He was able to be an example. Or as Pastor Robert and Holly would say “Be Jesus with skin on”.. 

Aaron leading his team in prayer

The guys that he prayed with at each meet never really had a relationship with Jesus. They never wanted to pray, and at the last regional meet two other guys wanted to pray. One of the guys even gave the glory for his running so well this season to Jesus. The team said they know they could not have done so well without Jesus.. Of course I have tears in my eyes when Aaron tells me this. He said it was not all about him winning, but about making Jesus Famous..Yep More tears and a big Wow! Another Proud momma moment and an answer to many prayers..

Ciera made it to a meet 

My teens miss Pastor Robert and Holly with all their hearts, and they are slowly stepping in and learning to love our new youth pastors. But I am so grateful for the season that God put some amazing Youth pastors in my Teens lives.It was them that helped my Guys grow strong in their faith walk with Jesus. It was them that encouraged them to talk with Jesus daily, and to be great examples.  I will never understand why things happen, and how much heartache it has caused. But I am going to keep praising God and know he has a greater plan for me and mine. Even when the answer is “No”!

Just a big Good Job to my Twin fellas! What a pleasure it has been to cheer you on since 7th grade. We are so proud of you, and thrilled to watch you play basketball, run track and run cross country in college next year. Your dad and I will always be your biggest fans, and want yall to hold your head up high because you have done some amazing things for Boyd Schools and the cross country program. Like Coach Hern said you were the Corner Stones for this team. 

Fat Girl Problems...

The other night I dreamt that I was running.. Of course normal people would say “Oh no what were you running from” but my first thought was “Oh my gosh you were able to run!”

If you know me I battle with my weight. A couple of years ago with weight watchers, the doctors help and great work out buddies, I lost quite a bit.

Than something “Devastating and Emotional” happened in my life and I turned back to food and gained it all back. ALL OF IT!

Besides the weight, I struggle with migraines and yes probably TMI, but I also struggled with IBS “Irritable Bowel Syndrome”.

Basically every day from about 12pm to 3pm I went thru sharp constant gas pains (which felt like labor pains) from being constipated to severe diarrhea.

Every… Single… Day..

On the wkends I had to plan around it, so if my friends or family wanted to shop, I would hope they did shopping first before we ate, so I could be home for my bout of IBS. My hubby and kids have had to wait on me at stores or stops at nasty convenient stores, because they knew I would be stuck in the bathroom for hours. It was controlling my life. I saw doctors and had test done, and would just be told, yep you have IBS.

So here I was at 35, taking medication for migraines, Struggling with  IBS and of course the obvious weight problems.

My sis in law Dana, started selling Plexus. She would post about it on FB, and would always share testimonies. Now I am not putting down other people’s products, because I know everyone is different, and what works for me may not work for others. I have tried many different things.  Even the product that rhymes with “Bark” but it never failed that it would trigger a migraine. I wanted to feel better, I wanted to lose weight. And most of all I wanted energy again so I could feel healthy again. And there are so many things out there to try. I even wanted to sport the patch, but I could not afford it.

I came across one of the testimonies on fb that Dana shared. The lady talked about not having IBS anymore.. SO it peaked my interest enough to ask about pricing.

Again, we have 3 kiddos so I did not think we could afford all the products.

Another testimony talked about being free from migraines.. Oh gosh I wanted to experience that feeling.. Migraine are just plain evil..

But it was one post by a lady, who talked about why she quit taking plexus. She was taking some of the products and was feeling great, and thought since she was feeling better, she could get off the products. She listed the way her body responded to getting off the Probio5 and Pink Slim drink. She talked about the stiffness and inflammation in her body that came back. How each morning she was walking like an elderly woman. And she was only in her 40’s. Of course she got back on the products, and will stay on them..

Personally I could relate to stiffness and inflammation she talked about. So I did the deed and ordered the Bio Cleanse and Probio5. First 2 wks I noticed that my tummy was being normal. Yes I could POOP normal..! My hands and ankles were not swollen anymore. And I had a bit of energy.

So than I joined as a member for my $34.95, which gave me a website and now I can get the products at a discounted rate.

So my first purchase under myself was the Pink Drink Slim. Hmm the best way to describe it is watered down cherry kool-aid. I drink it on the way to work each day. And for me it makes me not hungry till about lunch time, and it gives me energy to get thru my day. And I sleep really good, without night sweats!!

SO I take 3 products from Plexus.. And because of those 3 products, I don’t deal with IBS anymore. I have lost 4 pds. The biggest thing is I have not had a migraine in 3 wks! And I am also proud to say, I was able to run at my Boys Cross Country Meet. I mean full on sprint, which I have not been able to do in a couple of years. I feel like “me” again. And I am not one to try and advertise on fb, because I know how annoying that can be. But I have to share with people who may be experiencing issues like I did. That if it worked for me, than why not give it a try too! Get healthy from the inside out!

Visit my website at www.AmandaHammett.myplexusproducts.com

October This and That..

Aaron's Senior Picture

Aaron told me I should write a weekly blog. He said he enjoys reading them, and that I am a good writer. Of course it did wonders for my ego, but I told him I start many blogs and then whichever one sticks is the one I finish and post. Blogging has helped me to express my thoughts and feelings. Especially with this Senior stuff going on.  And I am sure he is loving all the attention he is getting with my blogs being about him and his brother lately. Of course I have to share this picture of him, so everyone can get a good laugh at the joke he played on me last wk. When he convinced me this was his Senior Picture for the annual.

 

Twins with one of their Best Friends Sequoia

This wk my emotions have been pretty level. The boys have been working hard during practice as they prepare for Regional's in Grand Prairie this Saturday. Tonight is Senior Night at the football game. After talking with their coach and the principal we have arranged it to where the cross country team Seniors will get to be acknowledged too. Of course now I have to walk down the field with them, and try not to do the ugly cry in front of Boyd America. This will be exciting!

We are coming on many important last for them, between Regional's, the Senior night, and now basketball has started. Both boys are on Varsity team and are enjoying playing already. And this makes me so happy. If you have some free time I invite you to come watch them play. Games will be on Tuesdays and Fridays.

They have also kind of set their minds and leaning towards Texas Lutheran University. We still have to go visit and look at everything. But this school has been in contact with them about being on the Cross country team. And with their academics they are able to get some kind of scholarship. Of course momma thinks 4 hours away is too far, I am hoping they come across another school that wants them to run and is like 2 hours away. But, I am just praying for peace. Because I know God already has it all planned out for them.

 

Jasmine 4th Place District Meet

Jazzy girl is on the injured list as of this morning. She was struggling with cross country and it kept her knees pretty tender, and of course cheerleading started up. And the jumps and dancing seemed to over-do it for her.

So she is on restrictions for a week or two. I am proud to say she got 4^th place at District this month. She is a little natural runner and we are super excited to see her run for high school next year! She is really enjoying 8^th grade so far. She is doing great and making straight A’s and made the UIL One Act Play this year. She plays the part of a King. This child of mine is growing up way too fast. And let’s just say hormones are flaring at my house, between her and her daddy I am not sure how much more I can take. Lol

 

Daddy's Girl

Wishing Everyone a happy and safe Halloween,. 

And Of course I will blog and let everyone know how Senior night goes and Regional's tomorrow. 

Dear Aaron & Cameron

7th grade Decatur Meet

Dear Aaron & Cameron..

I blew up my face book page yesterday with post and pictures.. 
Hopefully no one defriended me.

Still sitting here in awe of what you BOTH have accomplished over the years..

Since 7^th grade you both have been doing this. Many times you wanted to quit. And I admit some days I thought about letting you. But, I just knew that I had to make yall stick with it.

That you both would benefit from it. The last 4 years yall have actually enjoyed running. I have watched yall make great relationships with your team.

Watched yall become leaders, and encourage your team with pep talks and prayer.

How you lead the team in prayer before each meet

We have watched you both run in the freezing cold to the sweltering hot,. Watched yall beat your personal best. And have watched you both not make it to the next level.

I have cried for you and with you, when I knew how devastated yall were last year. But again there was no quitting.

Aaron at Tarleton Regional Meet

But, this year.. You both have peaked into a new level of talent. Yall have helped lead your cross country team to victory after victory.

Team wins 1st place at Jacksboro

 I have watched yall cheer your team on to push thru. Watched your team mates give it their all for “ The Seniors” this year. To see the respect and recognition you are getting from all over Boyd because of how well you are both doing.

I admit, I was so nervous for you both yesterday at District. I knew you both could do it, but when I saw the nervousness. When I heard the doubt in your voice. When Aaron walked up and hugged me and said “Well this is it momma”.. I shed a few tears.. I wanted to make it all better, wanted to ease your fears and nerves.

But I just continued to reassure you that yall already had us so proud as parents. That this is what you have worked hard for.  I said a quick prayer for you to have peace.. And I ran (yes actually ran) and cheered you on..

AND You Both did it!

You Both placed in the top ten to qualify for Regionals, AND you helped your team become District Champs!

You helped make history for Boyd.

We are so dang proud..

You are both my Heroes.

I love to watch yall run.

And gosh I am gonna miss yall.

Now on to Regionals we go!! 

They Will Always Be My Babies

About 3 or 4 years ago I wrote a blog about my fellas feeling like they were not good enough..

 It was in regards to cross country.  I asked for advice on how to raise my boys to be proud of their accomplishments..

Over the years I have watched my boys get up at 5:30am  5 days a week to go run anywhere from 5 to 8 miles a day. They have had to turn down invites on Friday nights because they had cross country meets the next morning. I have watched them limp thru the finish line, sometimes with bloody knees from falling and getting back up to finish. I have screamed and ran (or a very fast walk) along with them telling them their times and how to keep going. I have hugged these sweaty boys with tears in my eyes because they beat their record. 

I have encouraged them and promised them that their hard work and dedication would pay off in the end. And last wkend when I read the Wise County Messenger article, to see my twin fellas picture with an article named "Twin Powered",  I just cried..

 It hit me hard that my babies are leaving me in such a short time.

 Tears of joy because they are reaping the benefits of their hard work and dedication. 

Yet tears of OH MY GOSH my babies are seniors and going to go off to college without me!

I need my Prozac!

Or I need time to slow down quite a bit.

Or maybe just another baby. Ha!

But in reality, I am just beyond overwhelmed at the Favor my Boys have had on their lives.

There were times where they felt down, but they always turned to scripture to remind them that nothing was impossible.

That with God they could accomplish anything they put their mind and heart to and as long as they gave it 100%.

I am proud to say they have been contacted by different colleges who want them to run for their team, and because they are both graduating in the top 10% of their class.

Again this momma is struggling hard, because the last 17 years my life has been about these twin fellas.  I am gonna miss them like crazy.

Dinners around the table won’t be the same, trips to Wally world will become dull. And the living room will become bare.

But, this is what we have been believing for. That our children will grow up and attend college and do something amazing with their lives. They are getting opportunities that Trav and I did not get.

And for that Trav and I are thanking our God for everything he has done for our boys, and are so excited for what is to come..

Now pray for my Jasmine, because she is gonna have to fight me off of her, as this momma is gonna need some serious snuggle time in the next 4 years!! 

Why ya gotta be so rude?

One of the many things I admire about my husband is that he can say hi and carry a conversation on with complete strangers. Yes annoying at times, but thankfully 3 out of 4 of my kids have this trait.

 On my good days I like to think that I am pretty easy going and a fun loving person. I know like everyone else I can be pretty darn grumpy.  It takes me a bit to get out of my comfort zone, and when I am feeling friendly and I say hi to someone and they ignore me whether on purpose or because they did not see me I get my feelings hurt. And I spend the rest of my day pondering and over thinking what I could of done to make someone mad. Mad enough to ignore me. Of course my husband thinks I over think things and ask me why I put so much thought and feelings into how someone treats me or thinks about me. He makes great points of course, but  in my mind I can’t explain it, but I just know how it makes me feel. I struggle with that, because I do care what people say or think about me.
 I say all that, to tell yall one of my biggest pet peeves is when you are fb friends with someone, and yall go to same places, whether it be church, kids practices, games etc. And you see those “fb friends” and you smile or say hi and they completely blow you off and ignore you. I mean why?! What does a person get out of that? A grown person! 
Again, I understand we all have bad days, and yes I know there are those chances that you were not seen. But, I know when I am seen and when I am being ignored.  I have to ask are we back in Middle School? How can I tell my daughter not to let certain people bother or get to her, when “me” myself still struggles with it.? Does it really take too much effort for people to just be kind to each other? I honestly don’t think people really understand how much a wave, smile, or a simple hello can mean to a person. Just imagine what a hug can do?!  I find myself blogging about this in hopes that if you are reading this, YOU will stop and think and just be a little extra friendly today. The world needs some kindness these days.. And remember the little people are watching, and will learn how to treat people by what they see you do.

Make It Fit...

Little People are just precious in my eyes.. They are still learning each day, and the way their minds think are just brilliant.. The other day a couple of the toddlers combined two different puzzles together.. SO one of them was trying to put a hippo where the rain boots needed to go. He turned it and smashed it and flipped it and was getting frustrated because he could not get it to fit. I kept trying to explain to him that it was the wrong puzzle and showing him that it belonged on this board. And he looked at me like I was strange and clueless and just kept trying again to force it to fit. So I started putting all the pieces together in the other puzzle so he could see that his piece is what I needed to complete it. Once he saw that he had the piece I needed he ran to me and put his hippo in, and we clapped our hands and said YEAH you did it!

I honestly think we as adults do this in our daily life.. We try to make certain things and people fit in our lives where they don’t belong. God is showing us he has something better for us. But we just constantly twist and flip and shove and make excuses as to why we don’t want to let things go. Convincing ourselves that they do fit, they just have to.  But when you are spending so much time defending yourself and convincing other people of your actions, than its time to let go and let God. It should not be so hard to be happy and to have people in your life who love you, all of you.. Just stop, listen, pray and you will see the Big Plan he has for you. And the feeling of peace will overtake the hurt and life will be back on track for you.. You can be nice and kind to everyone, because that is what we are told to be, but pick your close relationships carefully..

 Living and Learning.. Just Saying..

Ephesians 4: ²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Note To My Friends...

It’s kind of crazy and messed up.. 

How we allow lies from the pit of hell try to come in and steal our joy..
 Over the last couple of months. 

Thoughts come to mind, things like..

" I am not good enough" 

" I will fail" 

"No one cares" 

" Life would be better if you are not around"

 ”Why do you even bother”

With much prayer time.. I know I am in a battle with my own thoughts.
 And I have to learn to shut them out.. To be still.. To know he is still God and is still in control.  To know how much HE loves me, and how HE thinks so highly of me.

Than 2 wks ago I started having horrible nightmares. I wake up in tears and have to calm myself down. I again have had to learn to just pray and thank God for protecting me and mine. Until the feelings pass. 

By this time I am sure you are thinking what I am, I mean come on, someone go ahead and admit me. This crap gets old.. But I refuse to get back on anxiety meds. I have to move forward.

So I have really stayed to myself.  It’s how I handle and deal with these things lately. Than last wk, three different people on three different  days text me to ask if I was mad at them. So next lie came to mind.. "you are a horrible friend and don't deserve good friendships".  So in reply to those texts and to all my lovely friends..
Right now, at this time in my life I am just content with my friends who  want to be part of my life and want me in their lives.,  That they know I am a text, phone call or email away.  That I will reply right away, almost always unless I  don’t get your text because of my lovely cell phone service.  I will pray for you on the spot, I will go to dinner or movies when invited..  I will listen and only respond if you want a response.
I will celebrate life with you when times are great,  and I will cry with you when life sucks.  I will cheer you on when you feel like giving up.  I will stand by you and with you for during all those times.  I will do my part. I may not be the one to send the first text every single day.
But that is all I can promise. That’s all I can devote.  I am in a new season in life.  I am sitting back, slowing down, and just enjoying one day at a time. My babies are growing up..  My marriage is thriving..  My hubby has become my one true best friend.  And that makes my heart happy. SO please don't take it personal.  This is just me.

Reminder...

It’s been an interesting couple of wks in this crazy thing we call life.

We “I” get so caught up in the daily things like work, kids, bills, fb, getting ready for a new school year. And I allow things, silly things to control my thoughts and attitude. Yes, I know it’s wrong, and that I should stay focused. I know that I should have control over my thoughts and how I act and react to certain things. Just sometimes I get tired of all the BS.. But last wk we got a reality check in our little home. Trav had not been feeling well. And I am a nag about him not taking care of himself. And I asked him to go to dr. He of course was like, “I am fine” but come Monday morning he called into work. If ya know my hubby he never misses work. And It concerned me, so I again suggested “nagged” him about going to dr. He finally gave in and went. We find out that he showed signs of having a heat stroke. We are not gonna lie. This scared the crap out of us. He took a couple of days off to rest and recover per dr’s orders. We watched him carefully. Probably annoyed the crap out of him. And during that time, I allowed the enemy to come in and mess with my thoughts. I started questioning why this was allowed to happen to him. I wanted to reach out to someone, anyone who could answer my questions or just listen. But I honestly at the time felt like I was alone. Like I had no one to tell.  And let me tell you, that is a horrible place to be. I had to keep myself together for my kids and show no fear. I surely did not want to vent to my hubby about it. Although he could tell something was wrong. I was kind of upset at God for even allowing this to happen. And so I just let it stir and stir and I got angrier each day, and by Wednesday I was laid up in bed with a full blown migraine. I was in tears, and I just let it all out. I had a good talking to God, I reminded him because I thought maybe he forgot how good my husband is. How giving he is, and how he jumps to help anyone in need. How he works his butt off to provide for us.  I reminded him that we serve in areas, and we even do it on days we really don’t feel like it. I continued to cry and pout and then I turned on my music.. It was His turn to remind me of his goodness. Song after song it talked about his love for me. I was reminded of all the things my husband and I have conquered because of him. I was reminded how my children have been protected because of him. How we have all we need and many extras because He is the one who has provided for us.. How he has never left my side, that I have never been alone.  And if anything this heat stroke was a way of getting Trav’s attention to stop and slow down and enjoy the life that we have right now. It was a message for me to stay focused. To turn off all the distractions and focus on what really matters in life. I know it was the enemy trying to kill, steal and destroy my precious family. Lie after lie, but he failed. And we are stronger for this. Now Trav is fine, we are thanking God for no permanent damage. We found out a medication he takes is probably what caused  his body to react to the severe Texas heat. So he is on the road to recovery. 

So I am sharing this song called "Forever" by Kari Jobe

"

The moon and stars they wept
The morning sun was dead
The Saviour of the world was fallen
His body on the cross
His blood poured out for us
The weight of every curse upon him

One final breath he gave
As heaven looked away
The son of God was laid in darkness
A battle in the grave
The war on death was waged
The power of hell forever broken

The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
his perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting?
Our resurrected King
Has rendered you defeated

Forever he is glorified
Forever he is lifted high
Forever he is risen
He is alive, He is alive!

The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
his perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting?
Our resurrected King
Has rendered you defeated

Forever he is glorified
Forever he is lifted high
Forever he is risen
He is alive, He is alive!

We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
The Lamb has overcome

Forever he is glorified
Forever he is lifted high
Forever he is risen
He is alive, He is alive!

You have overcome
You have overcome
You have overcome
You have overcome

Oh Young Love..

During my FB Fast this wk, I have had time to do a little blogging..

I may have mentioned that my Twins are Seniors this year. We are getting ready for Senior Pics and looking for pictures for the baby ad page for year book.

I am having to come up with some kind of message to put with these pictures, so needless to say I have been a bit of a boob bag. How does a mom choose which pictures from the last 17 years, they are all my favorites. Sigh..

AS our summer is coming to an end it has been quite enjoyable and we have experienced some technical difficulties.

It was no secret if you followed us on FB that my son had a girlfriend. Well after some decisions that came to an end. Of course I could be hateful and blast my blog and other social media outlets about my thoughts on how hurt my baby boy was. It was his first young love.  But I told my son not to respond to it on social media and just let is play out. And I was proud of him for doing as I asked. So of course I have to follow the same rules. But honestly I have nothing bad to say. Why, because I still love and care for her. She was a big great part of our family for almost 2 years. I have pictures that I will not delete. I have memories of some good times. And yeah Jazzy and I have actually shed some tears because we miss having her around. 

But I am proud of my son for choosing to be a teen. And not getting so serious so fast.

I have found that many young teens are in such a rush to get so serious, when I have tried to show  my kids they have plenty of time for all that. But now is the time to chase their dreams, and to set goals and reach those goals. Yes I was very young when I got so serious. And yes we are still together. But there have been many tears and heartaches to stay together. The odds were stacked against us. But we came out swinging. And I don’t want that for my children.

Yes I don’t like to see the young ones so heart broken. But I promise each of yall “This too shall Pass” and who knows what the future holds.

Just enjoy life right now, you have plenty of time for all the other stuff. Like AFTER college. heehee 

My Trav..

18 years ago..

Trav and I started watching a TV series that Jazz and Ci have been watching.. 

One of the characters who is really hot by the way, is seeing an older man. And she got jealous very easily over some silly things and started to cause a scene.

 I am sitting there watching and I start to giggle because that was me not too long ago. Because of the age difference we have and because of my lack of confidence and knowledge of dating that I have, I have put my husband thru so much crap. Silly crap. Because I was insecure.. I mean really silly crap that no one should have to deal with.

Thru out the last 18 years of our marriage, I have had people plant seed in my head which added to my fears. Whether it was the Sappy Romance novels I read, TV shows I watched or people in my life who had bad experiences with marriage. And unfortunately I let it grow and grow and believed it.

 But, no matter the fits I threw. No matter my fears and childish ways.. My bad attitude or choices that I made. He never failed me. Over and over he had to reassure me that his love is real. That I am the one and only for him. Thru my thin to my thickness, he stood by me. Never put me down. Each time I wanted to quit, he refused. He encouraged me and lifted me up and supported me. He fought for both of us at times, taught me that what we have was worth fighting for.

Today I can say that our marriage is stronger than it has ever been.

 I see him and US thru a different perspective. 

I appreciate him and understand him so much more..

And oh how I thank God for that, for HIM..

In the nursery I had the privilege in talking with one of my dear friend's Susie McKinney. A faithful woman full of joy, love and knowledge. We talked about our children and relationships and she said that any two people can get married. But it takes an act of God and working together to stay married.

Today I find myself praying stronger for my children.

I pray they find their very own “Travis”.. 

Summer 2014..

Most nights when I lay in bed I start thinking about different topics for my blog. I swear one day I am going to keep a pen and paper by my bed so I can write those things down, because once I wake up I cannot remember those topics, and there were some really good ones too! I think..

So unfortunately I have nothing brilliant to share with you all.

But here just a quick update on life..

Jazz and Kear in Georgetown

Summer is going, nothing exciting after our trip to Georgetown. Our fellas went to a basketball camp and we decided it being their Senior year to go up and watch the last couple of days. SO we loaded up the blue beast and Trav, me, Jazz and Kear enjoyed the drive there. We watched lots and lots of games for two days. They played against bigger schools, and because our posts were at 7 on 7 games we got beat, but not badly. So needless to say, I am super excited about our basketball season this year, I think it’s going to be a group of talented young men.

My Life Time Friend Paula

I got to join my sweet and amazing life time friends Paula and Mike for a dinner before Paula left me to go to Missouri again. Met both of these people when I started working at my job 11 years ago, and even though we have not worked at the same place we have kept a strong friendship over the years. And I have to say I am Thankful that God brought those people in my life and love them both to the moon and back. I miss my Paula but I am so happy for her what God is doing in her life..

All American Cheerleaders

My Jazz had cheer camp already, and if you follow me on FB you know she got All American Cheerleader, which means she gets to go be in the parade in Houston on Thanksgiving. We are so proud of her hard work, and I look forward to watching her cheer this year,. AND already praying her bases do not drop her this year! Congrats to all the young ladies who made All American this year!

And now for my final thoughts.. I know some people think I am silly.. 

But I am in denial about all this Senior stuff. I am excited, really I am. I look forward to my itty bitty boys to go to college and to go out in the real world and experience life, and see all that God has in store for them.

How I will always see my Boys

But gah!! Every time this momma thinks about them leaving, them not being here at home with me. Them making me laugh, the talks we have over dinner. Just the joy their presence brings me each day.  I start tearing up. And my stomach gets kind of nauseated. It’s really ridiculous. And I know this already. But someone please tell my heart and mind to get over it!

Cam and Aaron ready for Senior Year

So all that to warn you, if and when you ask or have asked me if it’s the boys senior year, or if I am going to miss them. Just know there will be tears.. 

And by this time next year, there will be the ugly cry. 

You know the one with snot and all that fun stuff. 

Mommy Instinct or Fear

At the age of 18, after having twin babies I was forced to get a driver’s license.  I did not want to drive.. I have the greatest fear of car accidents.. 

I dreaded my kids getting behind the wheel. 

Never myself have I had an accident.  (knock on wood)

When it was time to teach Ciera to drive, Travis started it, but his way of teaching was not good for her or him, so I had to do it. Since she has started driving she has hit a couple of deer, rear ended a car, and got hit by a drunk driver. Those phone calls will forever be in my head, and my heart skips a beat each time I think of the phone calls.  So needless to say, I was not eager to get my boys their license like all their friends when they turned 16. I made my points about being responsible first. When one of the boys showed more interest in getting started we did all the paperwork and started the process. With me being around the kids more I started teaching him to drive. I was very proud of how safe he was, how he paid attention to detail, and little by little he did more and more driving. I was strict, probably too strict about who he drove, where he drove, and what time he drove. But I just listen to my mommy instinct (Holy Spirit) and went with it.

But, I started to doubt that I was mixing up my fear with the mommy instinct, and would talk myself out of stuff. And on the wkend that I did not listen to my mommy instinct and thought I was just being fearful I got the dreaded phone call that he wrecked his car. This momma freaked out, and we could not get to him fast enough. His little car was totaled. If you see it you would think it is still drive-able, but he literally ripped the bottom of his car off. When you see where he went off the road, and hit a tree and then a little bit ahead you see the big embankment that he could have gone down, it makes me vomit in my mouth a little. BUT, Not one scratch on his body..

I know God was there, I know he was being watched, I know it could have been worse. I am oh so thankful for answered prayers..

Than the next wk my baby ended up in the ER because she could not breathe very well, they gave her so many medicines and breathing treatments, and after 6 hours of non- stop coughing we were laid up in the bed, and she was crying, and I was crying from exhaustion and seeing my baby miserable. And I told her that God hears our cries and our prayers and he would answer us. 15 minutes later we were released..

I hate to admit I spent a few days wallowing in self pity,I was mad, confused and I struggled in my faith walk because my babies were being attacked. 

 And besides my momma and dad, and a couple of friends, I felt like no one reached out to us. Here we are with lots of family, friends and part of a church home, and besides fb post, not one call to us that said hey we are thinking of you, are you ok, do you need anything, nothing.. sigh

I blame social media.

We all peek into each other’s lives, and leave comments and we feel we did our deed.

I am over myself now. My kids are all healthy and enjoying their summer. I am over my crud and back at work. And if anything I am going to be better at reaching out. I am going to quit relying on fb to check on my family and friends. I feel this is what I can take from my May Experience. 

I don't have life all figured out, and I know I want to be better in all areas. But one thing for sure is I am going to listen to my mommy instinct.