Good Enough...

Being a momma is one of the best things in my life. Have had the privilege of being in this role since I got married almost 16 years ago. Since Trav came with Ciera..

But when I gave birth to my twin fellas,.. When I heard their first cry, and held them for the first time, it hit me smack in the face.. That these two little precious boys were going to be my responsibility. To make sure they were cared for, loved beyond a shadow of a doubt, and that they always knew how special they are..
I realized they were going to depend on me for everything.
Oh, the joy these boys have brought into my life.

I will admit, the day the doc told us we were having twins, I cried. Lol I personally was not ready for one baby more less two of them at the same time.
But the good Lord always gave me the strength and the back up help to handle what ever came my way.

As everyone knows, my fellas are 15 now. And one of the toughest things for me as a mom is to not be able to make things all better for them. Yes, I am one of those moms, and I have gotten a lot better..
Well maybe just a tad bit.. Hee Hee
My boys are momma’s boys. And of course my husband rags on them for being that, even though he is a big momma’s boy too.
That’s right; there is nothing wrong with boys loving their momma.

One of my fellas.. (I won’t say which one) Is and always has been a “Go Getter”..
He loves to be the center of attention. From dancing, to telling jokes, to making VDO's
He will be the first to volunteer to be part of something. He always has gone out of his way to be the best at everything he could be. And I will even say he has succeeded in many areas.
Of course I have told him, he is good looking and smart, super funny and one day “The Ladies” will see him like good “boyfriend” material, instead of like ”brother” material.

But thanks to Pastor James and one of his teachings, he says I only say that because he has favor with me. Lol
Now of course he does have favor with me, and I will always be his biggest cheerleader.
But, as a mother, I find it heartbreaking to watch my child struggle with himself. To watch him be disappointed that he did not meet a big goal, or that he was not the best at something. I dislike seeing him discouraged.

They made Varsity this year as freshmen on the cross country and track team. They have been working so hard to meet their goals, and they both have passed what they wanted. Trav and I are so very proud of their hard work and dedication they have shown. But my fella acts like he was not good enough.
SERIOUSLY! They are running against Juniors, Sophomores and Seniors.
His best 2 mile run has been 11.33 His goal for the year was to beat 12.00
Someone please tell him, this is AMAZING!!!
At district yesterday, the guy who got first place on the JV team, ran a 12.30 something. If my boys had run with JV they would have gotten 1st and 2nd place. The boys’ coaches even told the boys how proud they were. One of the boys knew his time was not his best, but he was satisfied with his effort. But of course the other one was totally bummed out.

 This morning, I dropped him off at school, with no smile on his face. Which is very rare for him. I wanted to jump out of the car, and climb on the hood and tell him,..
I think he is amazing!  To cheer up! To put a smile on his face! To hold his head up high!
Because he has improved so much this year.
But, because he would have hated me for causing such a scene, I quietly drove away.
Sigh….
So blog followers and fellow moms.. This momma’s heart is heavy. How do I convince my son, that he did not let anyone down? That he is good enough. And that he cannot give up..