Big steps..

So, if you follow me on facebook. You will see my "status" being pretty depressed. And I think people were starting to really worry about me. Yes, I think I did hit rock bottom. In my mind I did. Dealing with rejection is really tough. And I think that so many of us deals with some type of rejection in our lives. Starting from child hood, I can remember dealing with stuff, that a child should not have dealt with. Being raised in an environment that was not always so loving, no compassion, just so full of strife. And than to grow up and still see it. To see how it can really ruin a person, and make you pretty bitter and just a miserable person to be around. And I think that is where I was headed. But because of my relationship with God, and because I have sown some good seed in people's lives, it helped me to get out of my funk. I refuse to live like that, to be so full of negative energy, and let what people think control how I live. Instead of focusing on all the things wrong in my life, I have to count my blessings for all the things right in my life. So after fighting a terrible migraine yesterday, I got up, and my kids wanted to get some dinner. We went to the best place on earth "El Paseo", and we had a good time. My twins have the silliest jokes, and make me laugh so hard. And Jazzy is just so freaking sweet, and showered me with hugs and kisses. And I stopped and thought right there at life. And I saw those little faces, and realized that those were why I get out of bed each morning. God gave me those little people as a gift, and to take away all the pain I have endured in my life. And now it is my job to be the best mommy, and to always make sure they know how much God loves them, and how much I love them. So I tell you all that, to say..I know we all did not have the best child hood. And it was not fair. But we made it thru guys! And we are here now, and we have a good thing going. And so we have to get up off the ground, dust ourselves off, leave the past in the past. And live life! To expect nothing, and be grateful for everything..

One of the scriptures to help me thru this time in my life is this one..

Psalms 61:1-4
Hear my cry, God. Listen to my prayer. From the end of the earth, I will call to you, when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been a refuge for me, A strong tower from the enemy. I will dwell in your tent forever. I will take refuge in the shelter of your wings. Selah.