In Every Season, You are near...

 

Driving home from work the other day, jamming to my music.

 A song came on, and ugh it got me in my feels. The song starts off like this..

In every season, in every change, You are near

In every sorrow, You are my strength, You are near..

 The waterworks started to pour out.

Twenty five years, My Twin fellas turned 25 recently. I have had the privilege of being the momma of 4 precious babies the last 26 years. 

 I loved every minute of raising them babies. 

I went down memory lane, and just smiled at all the moments I got to experience with each of them in life. They were my world, my life literally revolved around them. Time has flown by so fast in the blink of an eye. 

But gosh, this new season has some moments of toughness, of so much change. And I find myself sitting and watching, excited and proud to see so many things that I had spent years and years praying for coming to pass. Yet, my heart aches as I realize I forgot to pray for myself and what I would be doing in this new season.

 You see, I had plans.. Perfect plans on how life would plan out.

But, life happens and those plans change. People change. 

The Good Lord has reminded me over and over that he is the one who has plans. He knows what is best for those grown babies.

He is the one who walked along beside us, and sometimes had to carry us thru some dark times. 

This last year, we as a family took a hit. It knocked a couple of us to our knees with a heavy blow. I will even admit, I may have limped along in my faith walk.

And even though I don’t have answers, I know my God is faithful.

I am holding onto Hope, that HE still has a plan.

I battled it out in prayer with and for one of those grown babies. I am so thankful, and excited for what the outcome will be.

Because I know that the God we serve is mighty and Faithful and heard our cries. 

I have said it before and I will say it again, if I have learned anything, it is how powerful a praying momma is.. Keep praying mommas, he hears those words, he sees those tears. They will not return void...

Also, I have been so excited and looking forward to the end of this year because again there were plans supposed to take place.

Those plans are what has gotten me thru the last 3 ½ years.

Like I was a long distance runner(I know quit laughing, I don’t run, but use your imagination) and I am running towards the finish line almost of breath...

And then someone came in and removed the finish line from me... (play dramatic music here) 

Even though I am still oh so very proud and excited for this little girl and all her accomplishments, I am having to fight back the tears daily (sometimes multiple time a day, it is so annoying) when I think about the fact that she wont be moving back home after all. This Momma misses her soooo much. 

So of course this momma is sad and grasping and looking for ways to cope..

What now, what am I supposed to do now.?

From My View… 

My grandbabies bring me so much joy, I do my best to support and attend all the things they love doing. I treasure my time with them, loving and spoiling them.

 My grown kids reach out to me and include me in their busy lives. They are living such good lives and thriving in their careers, educations and hobbies. And again I do my best to be there to support, cheer and pray them on in life. 

My hubby is a good, good man. He takes care of me, supports me, and loves me well. But his career is booming. The good Lord answered our many years of prayers and he is working for some amazing people who value him and invest in his career and education. But that includes lots of hours..

 

So, I find myself feeling like I am sitting behind this huge window. Filled with excitement, clapping, and cheering for all of them living their best lives. 

So stinking proud of them.

But.. wondering, what about me? I have been the head coach for 26 years and feel like I just got benched..😂

Again.. that song plays in my head..

I'm holding on to hope
I'm holding on to grace
I'm fully letting go
I'm surrendered to Your ways 

So here is me surrendering.. And I am excited and hopeful to see what HE has for me in this next season.. Maybe, it will include a puppy.. (spoiler alert)

Stay Tuned..

Dear Future Son In Law

 

Several years ago, I wrote a blog dedicated to my future daughter in laws..

 Just writing from my heart and all the many prayers I had prayed over my Twin Fellas future spouses..

Well… here we are… and all we have left to marry off is that baby girl of ours. I am not sure that I will ever be ready to let that one go. But I know that one day, it will happen. (insert ugly cry here)

You see, that little girl is something remarkable in my and her daddy’s eyes. Being the baby of the family came with some perks. I wont apologize for how loved (spoiled) she is though. 

But I will say some extra prayers for you.😇

Like I did for her siblings, I have prayed for her future spouse since she was a wee little one. 

I think as I watched my kids grow and get married or get into relationships, my prayers became more specific for my baby. Things that are so important to me. That I know in this Momma’s heart would bring me peace to know she is well loved and taken care of. 

Let me share my top 10 for you. 

1. Believe in and Love Jesus First. Jazzy was raised on Jesus and loves Jesus with her whole heart. She understands how important it is to raise a family on a firm foundation. Which includes finding a spirit filled church home, that will feed you both spiritually and support you and your family when hard times come. (bonus points if that church happens to be in Decatur)                       
2. Love and Support Her Unconditionally. Yes, I know she can be a stinker, but she has a heart of gold and will be a great wife to you. When she loves, she loves with all she has. So please encourage her and be patient with her in the good, the bad and the really ugly days. Never try and break her joyful spirit. Be Kind and Gentle, but you gotta Man up when she is being a brat. Trust me, she is worth it. And I know she will do the same for you.                                                                  
3. Be a Good Helper. She is an independent woman, and a control freak. She has been taught to cook, clean, mow the lawn, fix cars and build her own bench. Just because she can do it all, does not mean she should have to do it all alone. Even though I know she will try and do it all. When you see that she is exhausted and needs some help, step up and do it all too. Wash those dishes, fold that laundry, give those sweet babies a bath. I promise this will minister love to her heart.       
4. Love the Little People.. She gets this from her momma, she has always loved the little people. Especially her Nephews and Niece and the many adopted babies she has had the privilege to be a part of.. She wants lots of babies of her own. She knows how many and already has some names picked out. So before you even think about stealing her heart, please have a heart for lots of babies. And love them all well.                                                                                                                         
5. Show Up.. Don’t be a fuddy dud and not attend stuff with her. She wont get married to do life alone. Be there for all the events, particularly family stuff that we do. Be a good sport and join us for game nights and rock band and the many dinners we like to do. You may even find yourself having a great time, because we are pretty amazing to be around.                                                     
   
6. Have a Sense of Humor.. Jazzy is witty and funny. She loves to laugh and joke around. Being the baby of the family, she had to learn quickly to react with a good comebacks. I swear, when you make her laugh, you can see the joy beaming from her smile and eyes.                                      
7. Learn To Dance.. The way to her heart is on the dance floor. She loves to dance and when she finds a fella who can keep up with her and twirl her around on the dance floor, you will win in life.                                                                                                                                                      
8. Enjoy the Car Concerts.. My baby loves to sing. Especially in the car. Expect the music loud and her to belt out every word to every song she plays. And she actually is good at it. SO embrace it, she may even let you sing the duets with her.                                                                                 
9. Love Her Momma.. This is more for me than her. Jazzy and I have a close bond that is inseparable. I will be good to you, respect you and love you like my very own. But do the same to me.                                                                                                                                                      
10. Don’t Play Games.. If you have kept reading this, and still interested that speaks measures. The fact that she has given you the time of day is a big deal. She don’t play games, she is goal and career focused. So if you don’t have good intentions, please stay away. Because I know God has the right one for her.